Last night my husband and I went for a romantic dinner with just the two of us to celebrate our marriage. No parties, no ceremony, not even friends or family. Just the two of us. And it was perfect. We both share much enthusiasm for what lies ahead; and are completely open minded to wherever life together takes us. Questions such as where we plan to live, the prospects for expanding our family with little feet, the futures for our careers - all have been discussed over the past few years, and we have simply agreed to take things as they come. Neither of us have any pressure to do things a certain way, to follow a certain path, to live our lives based on the construct of others. It is a very refreshing and comfortable place to be. And to be here with the person I love who shares the same outlook is simply wonderful. Now to get rid of this hangover....
I'm tearing up reading your post, what a wonderful, beautiful step. I'm so happy for you OTH!! To many years to come for you and your new husband!! I'd raise a glass, but sounds like you've already had enough of those
Congratulations on your marriage OTH! The notion of following one's own path resonates with me very much. One of the insights of my journey is that I get to follow my own path and that life is much better I am true to myself.
A very lovely post. Things like this I find incredibly encouraging for my own outlook. Thank you for sharing this milestone.
I'm quite happy with serial monogamy for now. Perhaps one day I'll marry again, or maybe I won't. Either way I'll be true to myself :icon_wink
Sorry for not clarifying, I was referring to me regarding marriage. My husband and I had a lot of discussions whether we should marry or just stay partnered without marriage. Amongst other reasons, his desire or a child, tilted the decision to marry.
Wonderful account of your relationship and congratulations on your marriage, heteronormative or otherwise! What you have now is complete freedom to chose between yourselves how you want to share your time together, with sharing being the key word. When thinking of marriage, one often hears talk about all the "hard work" that goes into it, and yeah, there is that, but to reduce this fundamental partnership to just hard work is to misunderstand what it's all about. For example, I and my ex made the common mistake of putting our children above our relationship...sexual orientation differences aside...in fact that focus on the children made it easy to let slip whatever slivers of romance were left between her and I at the end of our marriage. To me, it's all about me being able to say to him: "hey, come here, take a look at how beautiful that valley is as the sun sets!", it's about sharing the joy of being alive each and every day, it's about being completely myself with him...this could not be easier or more pleasant. The "hard work", such as it is, is about creating the conditions that make this joyful sharing possible.
This is such a common issue and certainly was a material factor in my prior marriage as well. As my husband (still feels tingly to type that) and I have talked about the prospects of expanding our family, we have been conscious to openly discuss the complications that such a move would have on our relationship. Hence we have not made any definitive decisions and instead are letting the idea continue to float out there. With all the experience I have gained from my last marriage (albeit a heteronormative one), I believe I have gained significant insight to ensure some common mistakes are not repeated. How family is handled, ensuring we each maintain some independence, picking our battles and debating only when needed, being completely honest with one another, listening to each other and being both flexible and open minded are all things that we have built a good foundation for. As well, we will continue to embrace being an LGBT couple and not lose sight of all the advantages we perceive we have by being gay and married!
