I feel so relieved today after coming out to my best friend on Friday. I posted yesterday about how that went and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. I woke today and felt as though I was looking at life through different eyes. My own real eyes. Eyes that have been wrapped up in kids, chores, day to day normal life stuff that drags you down and moulds who you become. I don't regret most of it... some I wish I could go back and change but that isn't going to happen... so it's got to be forward moving from now on. Before you know it you are older and wondering where that teenager went that used to have so much fun and be a lot more care free. Today I was working from home. I have a day job but to make some extra money I started my own little online business a couple of years ago. It pays a few bills and it's craft related and I enjoy making things. I haven't been able to get back into this properly for months. I start something and then get to thinking about what I am going through and then end up watching something on Netflix. Today I put my music up full blast and was back in the swing. I'm surprised the neighbours didn't complain. How can I go from feeling like I was going to implode one minute to feeling so fricking high the next. All I have done is have one conversation with a friend and now I feel like superwoman. I haven't met anyone, been with anyone... not even been to any LBGT meetings yet and I still feel so elated. During the day I have had thoughts keep popping in my head on how I am going to tell other people. Work I have decided not to say anything, but other friends and my sister. I then think maybe I just won't say anything. Wait and see what happens. Nothing may happen? What an emotional rollercoaster! I have rambled with this post... that's sort of how my head is today. The thing I wanted to try and explain is that today I feel like I did years ago, I actually feel young again. I feel like i'm back in my 20s... lots of energy that needs to be channelled. I'm 52 lol. I have joined a Lesbian group in Brighton and have 2 dates arranged for MEETUPS. I am actually so excited. I have no idea what to expect... the only experience I have of lesbians meetings are through TV lol... the Lword and a few prisons dramas. Is this new found energy something that comes along with the realisation you are gay? Does your head hop from one mood to another in the space of days. Life certainly isn't going to be boring for a while!
