That whole early / mid 1900s generation, tainted against homosexuality

There is no question that religion is used as an excuse to allow people to hate. And people hate when they are insecure about themselves.

What you experienced has created an unnecessary source of shame. It says more about them then it does about yourself. And it clearly went to burst a perceived bubble you had of them. Now that you understand them for their true nature, you can heal from the shame they created.

 

That doesn't necessarily mean he or she hates gay people. "That's too bad" could as well mean "The world I know is unkind to gay people and you have to deal with extra difficulty."

But yeah, things are turning around really quickly. It's not anywhere near as bad as it used to be.

 

Perhaps he just said it without thinking how it could be offensive. At 94 you don't have as much time to consider your words
He could have just meant it's a shame that you won't get an 'easy' life, that your basic goals in life (by his standards) may be more difficult to achieve because of your sexuality. If he sees the way some people conduct themselves towards gay people he may have been trying to show some empathy/sympathy but just not very tactfully.

 

One of the most depressing things about getting older is watching your friends (and yourself) turn into "those people". We grew up thinking we were really open minded, but as the years go on, I keep finding more suggestions that we really aren't.

Most obvious example is in music. While we were kids and teenagers, our parents often derided our music as terrible, and suggested that the music that THEY (our parents) listened to was the good stuff. I remember thinking what a dumb argument that was, and that I would never be like that. But now I see so many of my friends as parents, and they're doing things like dressing their babies in Ramones onesies. To me, that's the same thing as if my parents had dressed me in a Carpenters onesie - it's pushing their musical taste on their children. I know we don't like to hear this, but we didn't just "get lucky" and grow up in the absolute pinnacle of musical history. We liked what we liked as kids and teens in large part BECAUSE we were kids and teens, and that's just how kids and teens react to stuff.

I'm sure we like to think we'll always be open minded, and always give people the benefit of the doubt. But as years go on, we get used to things being a certain way. And after several decades of becoming accustomed to reality, it seems damned weird to have a new reality eclipse the old one. I do my best to try to adapt, but yes, I'm old, and it does take effort to do so.

I say all this because at some point, presumably, YOU'll be the old person. The one who will be revealed as the one "corrupted by a hateful and contemptuous agenda". And unless you keep your mind flexible, you'll instinctively reject that conclusion, and insist that your way of thinking was the correct one. So be prepared.

Lex

 

2013 was a changing point for laws regarding homosexuality in the US. The laws against it were often enforced before 1973. Even today most states in the US have no protections in employment for people based on sexual orientation.

Certainly it could have been a statement of commiseration. Makes perfect sense to me.

Most people our age or older may have reacted with disgust, I imagine. I would be proud of her for not doing that.

My wife comes from a fundamentalist Christian background though, so we have seen a lot of rabid anti-homosexual attitudes. Especially in our own cohort.

 

American Christianity is just it's own weird thing. Remember, some parts of the country don't have much in the way of junior colleges, and the people don't have many options in terms of vocational opportunities. What they do have, to supplement their high school educations, is the Bible. A self-hating pastor may be their only approved source of counsel, so ... that's part of how we end up with a human trafficker in the White House.

Don't know who said it but, "if you're not liberal when you're young, you have no heart; if you're not conservative when you're older, you have no mind."

I studied journalism in high school, and had an appreciation for reading different, even polarized sources, but most folks like to pick their propaganda and only look at sources which support their ego's opinion.