So I just recently realized that my friends mostly agree that I'm not actually gay (or bi) and that I'm really just faking it/confused/scared of men. There's 2-3 of them who genuinely understand and support me, but my two BEST friends are always skeptic, always trying to set me up with guys and whenever I even mention my sexuality or crushing on a girl they kind of roll their eyes and change the topic. I know they're not homophobic, but they just don't believe me. And I don't feel like I need to prove myself to anyone but these are my absolute two best friends who are supposed to know me best and they just don't get it. I think it's because I suppressed this part of myself for so long and always talked about guys, especially to both of them, so now they're both just like WTF. So in short, I'm just wondering if any of you have dealt with skeptic friends and if you have any advice. I love them and don't want to lose them but I also don't want to feel like I need to hide who I am around them.
i get it, I've gotten; but you were married, to a woman.....; but you have a kid..... there's no way you could like guys...... I just look at them and say, but here I am..... and keep on living my life. either folks accept us or we find folks who will.(*hug*)
I think if it were me I'd start by acting as if they just keep mispeaking and correct them. Hopefully, they'd get the picture and stop doing it. Friend: Would you like me to set you up with this guy? You: Girl? Friend: No. Guy. You: No, thanks. You: Betty Boop is soooo cute! Friend: *rolls eyes* You: No, I mean it. Don't you think so? Friend: *rolls eyes* You: Oh, well. More for me. Act as if they're all innocent mistakes they're making and just correct them accordingly. You could also carry a bag of chocolates to dole out when they get it right. A bit of positive conditioning.
That sucks. Have explained your true heart? My friends have been supportive but some also say, 'well of course every woman has those feelings!' So....
You sound like you are uncertain where you are on the spectrum {Orientation: Women: YES. Men: IDK?}, so maybe theyre picking up on that? I know you want your friends to support your journey, but its probably confusing to them too. Rather than fight their desire to set you up with men, why not just say you arent interested in dating right now... it wont feel great to be less than honest with your friends most likely, but its probably the best approach till you figure things out with more certainty
It can be a lot to take in I think. Especially the closer you are to someone. I think gentle reminders are a good idea. Just don't let them disrespect you.
Haha I like this positive reinforcement idea. Treat them like I'm training my dog. LOL ---------- Post added 3rd Apr 2017 at 06:09 AM ---------- Yeah this makes a lot of sense actually. I wouldn't be lying. I just don't want to feel like I'm suppressing parts of myself, ya know?
