Hi all, I'm new to the forum. I'm married, 34 and realized last year I have an attraction to women while in my marriage. I know from falling for a women and since having a break from my husband that I am more attracted to women (or at least her) than men but not sure if im bi or gay. My husband has been amazing and I love him so much but I need to decide if we will get back together or end things. I have had 2 other encounters with women where I wasnt as strongly attracted but that might be the person. In my gut I feel there is a chance im gay but still somewhat attracted to guys- i love my husband, he is my best friend and my life feels complete with him. I am attracted to him but not close to the level I am to this woman. I want my marriage to work but im afraid to get back with him and hurt him in the future when Im still not clear on myself. Im not a hugely sexual person but I guess its still important in a marriage. I would say I have internal homophobia too as I dont want to face this and a life without him but not sure im being true to myself. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
Hey there, welcome to EC. It's amazing and so helpful. I was in/am in a similar position. My advise is to take things slow to sort out how you feel about yourself, how you want to live your life, your marriage, and what's fair for the both of you. It's fantastic that your husband is being supportive. You are blessed to have that in your life, whether he remains your husband or whether you transition to a different type of relationship. It's also not just about whether you stay or go, it's about your husband too. What is his comfort level? He sounds very supportive of you discovering this side of yourself. My husband was not supportive. He has decided he is not comfoyat all with my same sex attractions. But generally, I think that speaks to our overall relationship. We were moving apart on many different levels, I've come to realize.
Thanks for the advice. Its great he's being supportive (he hasnt always been the last 6 mths) but I have to make a decision in a week and if we break up he will move back to our home country so def pressure. I think he is saying anything to keep me but just dont want to hurt him in the future if I end up being gay. So tough
