hi all im a married 54 year old guy for the last twelve months or so i have been watching gay porn and masterbating to it i show myself to guys on cam which is amazing and ive lost interest in the wife all i can think about is guys. had a very small gay experience as a teen had these feelings all my life and i think its time i asked other peoples opinion. should i accept and say yes gay? i just dont knoe please give your opinions thanks tony
Hi and welcome. You're in the right place. Porn by itself isn't a reliable indicator of sexual orientation. Howeer, the cam experiences with other guys probably is, and if you find that your fantasies and arousal is focused on men rather than women, then most likely your instincts are correct. This usually takes some time to process and accept, so I encourage you to stick around and continue talking about it. There are many complex issues to consider, and I'm confident you can make the right decision given some time and thought.
Only you are able to figure out what your sexuality is and there are a lot of justifiable reasons why many people do not come to terms with the sexuality until later in life. As mentioned above, fantasies and the cam experiences are good indicators. Have you considered seeking professional guidance with a therapist to help you work through your thoughts?
I know im the one who must decide where im at but ive fought these feelings a long time but now i just feel like im letting them take thier place and i do feel better about it. my first wife understodd but i cant tell the second one She is a great person and only married a few years but i wanted guys before we were married and i thought it was coz i was lonely but its still there
It sounds like you already know what the answer is. And maybe you should consider working on the Shame and Internalized homophobia that drives people to seek security behind an emotional wall while living in the closet. You might perceive yourself to be in a difficult position, but incentives you understand yourself better, you may find your situation is not as bad as you perceive and then figure out the best course of action between you and your second wife. There are many on EC whom are married and are in honest relationships with their spouses, just as there are many (like myself), whom moved on from their marriages. I am sure others will chime in with different views.
i really feel that if i leave this marriage i will just not be with women at all i can see myself purely with men. Its like for some reason ive just got to a place that says yes you want male sex
It seems to me you already know your sexuality. I found myself in a similar place a few ago when I realized that I was gay and preferred romantic and sexual relationships with men. I decided to come out to my wife and start the process of separation and being true to myself. Is that what you want for yourself?
Just to echo this advice, a good therapist could be really beneficial to you right now. They would help you to tackle the really difficult questions you're asking yourself (or maybe even avoiding asking yourself) and help guide you through figuring things out and finding the strength to do the things you decide to do as a means of moving forward. And keep posting here. It helps, a lot.
justnotsure2017....I spent 55 years of my life hiding from the world and myself in the closet. In the end it almost destroyed me. You are the only one who can really make the decision about your sexuality...but so often we lie to ourselves or just try to pretend there is no problem. What ever you decide...be as honest with yourself as you can. That is the only way that you will ever be able to live a life free from self-condemnation, shame and guilt. Believe me, living a lie will destroy you eventually....David
well i went out today and decided to try something to see how it felt i had a male to male massage i have had many from women but first mans touch. It felt amazing it felt right like a longing was being fulfilled i think i know what to do now. Just thought id say
