Hi guys. I am a straight woman in love with a lesbian woman. We love each other deeply and have been together for almost 2 years. I get a sense that other lesbians don't like straight women and their involvement with other gay people. Why is that? Must I be worried about our relationship. My partner wants to marry me and I don't have a problem.
Um. I'm a bit confused. You say you're straight but you've been in a relationship with a woman for almost 2 years. So...you're together together? Because, that doesn't sound particularly straight to me. You may need time to come around to the fact that you're bisexual or gay and you should, of course, take all the time you need but you might want to examine why you still call yourself straight. As for lesbians not liking straight women and their involvement with other lesbians, I think the issue is if they're only doing it to entertain themselves and not because they actually have honest sexual feelings. That is not nice. That being said, if your partner loves you and you her and you aren't hurting anyone, who cares what anybody else says?
First congratulations on your relationship and welcome to EC x This site is a great outlet for sharing feelings and experiences. I have found it vital to my sanity being able to come on here and share. What does your partner think of you identifying as straight? I have known for a year I am a lesbian, before that I was straight. I am attracted to women, men are totally off the menu even though I have not physically been with a woman I know that's what I want. I could not, would not want to even identify as straight now. It is a confusing process coming to terms with feelings and emotions but one I am welcoming. If you have been together for 2 years I think as Really said that you are either lesbian or bi. Is this your first girlfriend. Do your family and friends know? The sense that you are feeling that lesbian women do not like straight women, is that something you have read or experienced? Just wondering as if it's your girlfriends lesbian friends that have made you feel this way perhaps they are confused that you are with your partner but still think you are straight. I'm I the process of meeting new friends and will eventually come out to my family and friends but I know and have accepted this is me and what I want. x
The sense that you get is not just your imagination. Those who identify explicitly as gay are well aware of the struggles they went through (and still do). The flip side of that is that they are protective of the definitions they worked so hard to establish and come to terms with themselves. There are cross-currents of, well irritation if not resentment, between lesbian and bi women, gay men and bi men, lesbians and straights, bi women and straights, bla bla in all combinations. My (purely speculative) guess is that you call yourself straight because you have not loved any other woman and can't see it happening. That is reasonable. By contrast, it is completely unreasonable for somebody to think you are "taking" one of theirs. Either one of their people or one of their categories. The solution? Be yourself and try to be extra accommodating to people you sense (with your evidently good empathy) have a little chip on their shoulder. Meantime, congratulations on finding, giving, and receiving love. THat's what counts.
Most lesbians don't hate straight women! I just wouldn't want to get involved with one. Most of the time they are curious/experimental girls looking to use me for a one time thing. I want a serious relationship, and I feel women open to that would at least identify as bisexual. If I was with my partner for years and they identified as straight....well, that would be a huge turn-off for me. Are you sure you're not bisexual?
Not being "straight" isn't a crime against humanity y'know. I didn't realise I wasn't heterosexual until recently. I'm still me - I haven't had a personality transplant. I'm willing to bet you are still you, too - only now you can see a different part of yourself that wasn't visible to you before...embrace the joy of being able to show love for your girl friend and have it reciprocated...Love is Love as they say.
Well said, maybe it is better worded "intimate feelings" as purely sexual feelings can be superficial, straight women I believe can make "sexual objects" out of lesbians who really like them... and that is just plain wrong. Don't objectify any person that loves you... real love and connections is deeper than the sex.:smilewave ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2017 at 12:21 PM ---------- @Creativemind, thank you for these words. If you say you are straight after having had or entertained a meaningful and intimate relationship with another woman, then you are either ashamed of yourself or your girlfriend. Please don't be, it hinders the relationship from growing... we cannot all wait for time to "unstraight" the lesbian at heart, and we cannot see them making themselves suffer like that and hindering the love. I am writing this because I wish my "straight" girlfriend would stop her "straight" nonsense in order that we may get on with our love she so desperately wants and NEEDS. ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2017 at 12:24 PM ---------- I wholeheartedly concur, now do you?(*hug*) ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2017 at 12:25 PM ---------- hear hear the poet. *pats you on the shoulder*(!)(!)(!)
