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LGBT Later in Life A support and discussion forum for older members who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender etc.

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Old 21st Apr 2017, 03:30 AM   #41
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Re: Update on my friend

I do have a philosophy about life and it is a bit of a cliche - things do happen for a reason. You and your friend crossed paths in this manner so you both have more life experience. For him, maybe it was an awakening and time for him to start to think about his own identity. For you, it is a better understanding of human nature which goes to evolving your own maturity and outlook on life helping you better understand what is important to you.

What you did get our of this last exchange with him was closure. You realize a relationship out side of friends will not work. Now go and focus on being friends and leave behind what can not be. You can now move forward without confusion.
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 03:35 AM   #42
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Re: Update on my friend

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Originally Posted by OnTheHighway View Post
I do have a philosophy about life and it is a bit of a cliche - things do happen for a reason. You and your friend crossed paths in this manner so you both have more life experience. For him, maybe it was an awakening and time for him to start to think about his own identity. For you, it is a better understanding of human nature which goes to evolving your own maturity and outlook on life helping you better understand what is important to you.

What you did get our of this last exchange with him was closure. You realize a relationship out side of friends will not work. Now go and focus on being friends and leave behind what can not be. You can now move forward without confusion.
You are right however, accepting that we can't be together is not a phase I have reached yet. My mind just refuses to let go of the hope. Although I wish I didn't, I still believe there is a reason to hope.
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 03:50 AM   #43
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Re: Update on my friend

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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheHighway View Post
I do have a philosophy about life and it is a bit of a cliche - things do happen for a reason. You and your friend crossed paths in this manner so you both have more life experience. For him, maybe it was an awakening and time for him to start to think about his own identity. For you, it is a better understanding of human nature which goes to evolving your own maturity and outlook on life helping you better understand what is important to you.

What you did get our of this last exchange with him was closure. You realize a relationship out side of friends will not work. Now go and focus on being friends and leave behind what can not be. You can now move forward without confusion.
You are right however, accepting that we can't be together is not a phase I have reached yet. My mind just refuses to let go of the hope. Although I wish I didn't, I still believe there is a reason to hope.
Hence, your on your way to learning another life lesson - learning when to let go........
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 05:19 AM   #44
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Re: Update on my friend

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Originally Posted by Dutchboy20 View Post
You are right however, accepting that we can't be together is not a phase I have reached yet. My mind just refuses to let go of the hope. Although I wish I didn't, I still believe there is a reason to hope.
I would argue that it's really your heart that refuses to let go of the hope, not your mind.

That's the difference between the heart and the mind. You've been going through this with a very clear head, but as you've seen sometimes your heart leads the way, despite what your mind tells is might be 'right' or the best thing.

You've done a ton of growing up in these last few months and, as OTH indicated, you're learning some very valuable life lessons. Plus he seems to be a good friend and wants to remain friends even after you told him about your feelings for him. Gaining a good friend like that is always a positive thing, even if you don't get the most desirable outcome that you were seeking.

The really good news is that you WILL come through this just fine, even if things really suck at the moment...


Stay strong, my friend.
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Old 21st Apr 2017, 08:52 AM   #45
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Re: Update on my friend

Well guys, thanks for everything. You have been incredibly important to me and i think without your help my friendship with him would have been destroyed. Since I recomended this website, it is time for me to distance myself from here because it would not be fair of he decided to post stuff and I read it. And of course, I don't want him read this. I wish everyone the best of luck in there lifes!
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Old 24th Apr 2017, 07:28 PM   #46
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Re: Update on my friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheHighway View Post
I do have a philosophy about life and it is a bit of a cliche - things do happen for a reason. You and your friend crossed paths in this manner so you both have more life experience. For him, maybe it was an awakening and time for him to start to think about his own identity. For you, it is a better understanding of human nature which goes to evolving your own maturity and outlook on life helping you better understand what is important to you.

What you did get our of this last exchange with him was closure. You realize a relationship out side of friends will not work. Now go and focus on being friends and leave behind what can not be. You can now move forward without confusion.
I completely agree with this statement; things do happen for a reason, reminds me of a phrase; "It can actually be better that you don't get what you want, as there is something better for you."


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dutchboy20 View Post
Well guys, thanks for everything. You have been incredibly important to me and i think without your help my friendship with him would have been destroyed. Since I recommended this website, it is time for me to distance myself from here because it would not be fair of he decided to post stuff and I read it. And of course, I don't want him read this. I wish everyone the best of luck in their lives!

One reason that I joined Empty Closets (EC) is that I had a crush on another guy and for a while I thought I was questioning my sanity. Part of EC show that we can go through different things at different times and that you aren't the only one.
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