I'm new here.. about two days old I think I'm Bi since birth, feeling different ever since. I know I'm not Les and not that super girly kinda female. Finally accepted that I'm really Bi in college, opened up to few really good friends who can keep my secret. Reading and knowing that there are others like me and not just gays and lesbians helped me a lot. I wanted to be straight so I won't have problems with my family and what others might think of me. First relationship was with a guy for almost 6 years.. later part was painful and took me 2 long years to recover and finally move on. Most part of it was being such a cry baby hearing songs, seeing places and things that reminded me of him. Bittersweet memories.. girly part of me huh After a les, a guy then a les (looks that would pass as straight) and lastly this bi girl I'm in a relationship with for almost 11 years now. We have a very big closet for hiding hehehe, though her sister knows cause it's obvious I'm always there when she's sick. Our relationship has only one rule.. and that is "Nobody admits that we're a couple if ever someone ask or confronted us". Deny deny deny until they get tired speculating. For our family sake. It helped us be more comfortable hiding in our closet and make this relationship work. The situation now is I don't feel good about our relationship.. looks like I can't stay and continue to understand her. I feel like she's not the same person i knew. Feeling all stressed when we're together.. cuddling at night makes up for those unwanted thoughts of letting her go. But I can't be in bed all my life right? The problem is.. I don't want to be the one to say it's over. I know the feeling of being in that situation with my first and long time relationship. I'm afraid for her health.. i don't want to be the reason if she become sick again. Would love to hear what all of you have to say.. I'm just trying to be ok even though I feel shit inside. Also afraid how long it will take me to move on this time..
