Hi all, I wanted to see if there was anyone out there who is in a heterosexual marriage but also gay or strongly bi to the same sex. Can you still be happy in your marriage and satisfied or are I doomed to leave later on? I still love my husband dearly but I think im likely gay or much more strongly attracted to women. I dont know if Im wasting both of our times thinking we can still work and should just let him go? I dont hate sex with him but dont really get aroused, only with women. Not sure if we continue if I will be happy for a while but then cant suppress it anymore and leave down the road which is worse. I want monogomy but not sure if porn will be enough to get me through the rest of my life? Any experience with this?
If your not happy, if you know you ha e needs that can not be satisfied in your marriage, then why stay together?
OTH is right. But of course I'm sure you have other emotions and circumstances at play which make this situation difficult. Lots of us have had this dynamic in our marriages here on EC. Have you ever told him about your orientation?
Yes he knows basically everything and that im more attracted to women. He still wants to try and improve our sex life which can happen but I still wont feel close to the same attraction as women or at least my catalyst. Ie. I feel nothing really kissing him even though I love him a lot. I am very happy with him but it feels different now I know the physical side can be different. Before I never knew. Its not a huge deal but feel like im lying to myself a bit so maybe i need to let go and end it. Going to see a marriage counselor
I thought I could pretend to be straight. And it worked well for a long time, it never occurred to me to admit that I'm gay. But a few months ago, a switch flipped in me and I realize that I am just not emotionally available to my wife because my brain and heart just aren't wired that way. I can't support her and be a companion to her in the way she needs, or I need for that matter. It was like I suddenly woke up. Each relationship is different. But mine isn't working. After 6 years of marriage, I'm realizing that faking it isn't going to work. That's what marriage is right? A deep connection and a partner? For me, I can't have that with a woman, no matter how much I care for her. Best of luck to you. It's great that you are working on this together.
This is a great idea. If you are both open and transparent, you should be able to come up with the right answer between the both of you.
