This afternoon I went to my first LGBT women's activity- a meetup that was a book discussion. On the way to it I ran into a friend at the bus station. She asked what I was doing and I said I was going to a social event, a book club kind of thing. She asked me a couple of more questions and I just kept it vague. Looking back, I wish I had told her the truth. I run into her fairly frequently, so maybe I'll try "coming out" with her. We're not close enough to where if she takes it bad it'll be a big deal. I detest, more then just about anything, approaching strangers. So I felt awkward and stupid coming up to the table. But that feeling went away and I felt surprisingly comfortable. I think it was, in part, because I didn't have to pretend to be something I wasn't; watching all my words and stuff to make sure I don't say anything about any of this. And I was pleasantly surprised that there were thin women, overweight women, and most of the women were...well, normal looking. Only one woman looked stereotypically "gay". And there was woman who I was pretty sure was trans, probably due to her height and voice more then anything else. After the group the leader asked me if I was looking forward to reading the next book (it was some lesbian fiction book- I don't remember the name, but they're going to post it on the Meetup site) and I said that I had never heard of it, that all of this (with emphasis on the word "all") is new to me. I'm proud of myself for having gone, but I wish I could have talked a little more with some of the women individually. One thing I did realize tonight is how lonely I've become. I've lost all but one of my prior friendships, and that one will probably stop being friends with me when I come out. My relationship with my husband has changed drastically. The downside of doing online school is you don't meet people, and I'm out of the age loop anyways. But I'm glad I went. It was a weird feeling of belonging.
Cool! Congrats! Going just once or twice will make it so much easier to go again. I've only been to two meetup events and I don't feel I'd be anywhere near as nervous going again. Can I ask? Are all the books lgbt or lesbian? Could you post some of the titles?