No Matter What Happens, I have no regrets about coming out. I love being gay.

I joined this site nearly a year ago. I posted that I think i might be gay and started reading some experiences. users suggested going to the mirror and saying to myself "I am gay" ... I was not prepared for the rush of positive intense emotion that occurred when I said it..i nearly collapsed it was so intense.

It soon felt like i losing control of myself and i got scared, deleted my account and ran away... but the damn had broke and a few weeks later I was back.

I went through the stages of denial and questioning and someone suggested.. just try 'being gay' for a day at home...and I slowly became more and more comfortable with it, and it soon became pretty obvious that I was gay.

Once I accepted it the rush of feelings and emotions became super intense...

Oh this is how straight people feel about sex.

...then I finally allowed myself to romanticize about men...WOW

I know I still have some way to go and I might not every find a boyfriend, but I would never have any chance of true intimacy or finding romance if i remained in denial.

being gay has its challenges but it is the most wonderful intense feeling of joy i have ever felt.

I LOVE BEING GAY

 

Thanks baristajedi, LostinDayDreams and NerdbyNature!
I found myself in bed this morning day dreaming about being with a guy - not even sexual but gazing into each others eyes, holding hands, cuddling while watching a movie... and the thought just made me so happy. And of course I thought about hot sex too!

I never just voluntarily or unconsciously did that about women.

before I came out to myself I can 't say I was lonely because I didn't know what loneliness was- I thought everyone just felt that way about sex and partners..

now it aches a little to be alone but its a sweet feeling- I know what's missing I can never imagine feeling this intense about a woman.

 

Yes! I haven't found 'the one' yet and I have had a rough time with online dating and LGBT events, but I also have this funny weird feeling that eventually it's going to happen.

This may sound weird but for years I suppressed my sexuality and i made this weird 'bargain' with myself, if i 'switched' to a girl the few seconds before ejaculating I really wasn't gay but if I crossed that line then inevitably I was.

about a year and half ago I finally did it, thought about a guy all the way through, at the time I instantly regretted it and felt guilty but that was the first step in coming out.

another I also knew that once I came here and admitted I was gay it was no longer going to just be a masturbatory fantasy. It's taking time but there's only one direction I am going.