What was your turning point in acceptance of your sexuality?

When I was younger I knew I liked women, but I also thought I wasn't supposed to so I suppressed my feelings. My turning point was the day I realized I was in love with my best friend. I have been married 17 years, in therapy for the last 3, because I am not happy in my marriage, especially with the sex-I am very disconnected from it. When I got married, I immersed myself in being the dutiful happy wife and mother. I worked and I took care of my family. I did nothing for myself and fell into a deep depression. I gradually developed a friendship with a woman who worked for me. I started confiding in her about my marital problems. She was very easy to talk to and slowly I found myself drawn in by her. I didn't realize what was happening at the time, but I fell hard for her. A few months ago we were supposed to spend the day together, however at the last minute she had to cancel. I was so hurt by her, I felt rejected and unloved. I have a husband and daughter at home who wanted to be with me, but all I could think about was her. That was the day I realized I would rather be with her than my family. My feelings are still very strong for her and I am working though them. She now knows that I am attracted to women, but I have not told her that I am attracted to her, or that I am in love with her. She is married and she is in no way interested in women. My turning point was that day, because I realized if she was willing I would leave everything behind to be with her. Now I have to decide if I want to give up my marriage to start to date and to pursue true happiness with a woman.

 

When I lost the naive Christian conservative faith I was raised in, I suddenly realized I had been deceiving myself about many things. There was a short progression from there to accepting my sexuality. Now I am a (mostly) happy but not-quite-out gay man who accepts who and what I am.

 

This site was actually VERY helpful in my coming to terms with sexuality. I'm not like most other gay folks I know, in fact I'm known as the Gay-Walker to most of my friends.

 

My turning point was realizing I could fall in love with a woman (someone I barely knew and who was unavailable so I never had a relationship with her). Falling in love and being sexually attracted to the same sex...there's no denying that in my world, so I had to "accept" that I'm not straight. Honestly, for me it was a relief because so many questions of why I wasn't happy/satisfied in heterosexual relationships were answered with this realization. I guess you know when you know, and if it's a strong enough feeling, you can't change that...so you accept it and love yourself. ♥

 

Mine was walking in last year's pride march. That's the day I felt acceptance and pride in being gay. I told my ex a few days later and a few days after that we decided to separate. Before that I struggled with accepting fully that I'm gay, I wasn't sure about my sexuality, but something about celebrating who I am with this amazing community of friends made me feel I was ready to really be me.

 

Mine, like Rana, was when I found myself very attracted to another woman, also unavailable. And I realized that I had never been this attracted to a man before. It didn't matter that I've been married to a man over half my life and when I was in high school I was also supposedly "boy crazy." It was never like this. I even remember watching Magic Mike (I think it was called) and every female I know was raving over it and I was like, yeah he's cute and all, but..." Boy was I in denial!
Not any more.

 

For me, It's when I started to grow up and stopped worrying about what other people think.

 

for me, it was at my coming out to myself moment.

back story, about a week or so before this I had a genuine talk with myself. I find self talk very valuable in squaring things away in my mind. and I came to the conclusion that now that I was free from my ex, or on that path, I would, and must be accepting of all paths that open to me, and when I realized I was looking at a couple (m & f) with the same thoughts I sat, and meditated on the questions that arose and came to the conclusion that I'm Bi and I just felt Right. so that's that for me.

hope this helps.

 

Life had been throwing me some curve balls and I think somehow it changed my thinking enough that I finally was forced to examine things in a new way. I was actually driving in my car and had the thought "you're bisexual. You are attracted to women AND men." As soon as I had the thought I knew it was true.

 

Well for me it was quite interesting situation. I've always find girls attractive but I was long time in denial. Because technically I was borned as a girl and in my family it's impossible for girl x girl being acceptable. And I never wanted lesbian relationship.Luckily I find guys interesting too so I thought I just ignore this problem and wait until it dissapear.

But I could never developed a relationship with guy. Well the way girls do. After I figured out what is "wrong" I had no problem accepting my sexuality. I'm actually happy with how things turned to be.

 

For me, I was just watching TV. I had gotten into this series called "The Fosters" I found on Netflix. Every so often I enjoy a good family drama, although before I began watching it I had no idea thet it was LGBT themed.

Anyway, one of the main characters is a kid who starts to discover himself as gay. Well, he was at the movies on a double date with his then girlfriend, and the guy he was clearly crushing on (and his girlfriend). Well, of course the writers are going to play on the awkward moments of this type of date at that age. I remember them as well. But instead of the awkward moment being with the girlfriend, it was with the other guy. That simple moment of those two holding hands during the movie sent me over the edge. In a fictitious instant I knew.

From that point forward, I began questioning and reviewing everything in my life. I started to list evidence of my sexuality. Evidence that I was straight, evidence that I was gay, and indeterminate evidence that did not say one way or the other. I was scared, angry, unsure, confused. About 3 to 4 weeks later, I told this all to a gay friend of mine. He helped me put things into perspective. And since then I've been certain of what I am, or at least, am not.

To paraphrase a line from one of my favorite shows, I am a Cylon, and I've been one from the start. (If you are familiar with BSG, that process in season 4 for the final 5 Cylons is very similar to the coming out process. I need to watch that series again.

All this from the most cliche of scenes in a television drama.

 

I can't actually think of a specific turning point at the moment. I think it was more a matter of enough time for the reality to sink in...

DeeAnn

 

Looks like Labgirl, Rana, and me are a lot alike. We all realized it when we started having feelings for an unavailable woman.

 

My journey from coming out to myself to full acceptance and coming out publicly took just over two years. It started in 2014 after the death of my father and ended the day after Pulse, June 13, 2016. The trigger point for me was Pulse.

ride:

 

i came out on face book on may 8 or 9 last year, but after pulse, the people at work were going on with a bunch of ignorant BS and i was correcting them when someone said, why is it so important to you? because thats my people they attacked....... and i was out.... lived openly about my sexuality ever since.

 

Pulse had a huge impact on me as well, I couldn't stay silent after that. I was still questioning whether I was bi or gay at that point but after pulse I put on my pride bracelets and never took them off again. I believe it's crucial for me to be visible now, all the time.

 

Reading these stories literally brought tears to my eyes... I haven't reached that point yet. Even though I came out 12 years ago, had 2 relationship, circumstances over the last few years have basically "forced" me to hide again and go back in the closet. I still find that I refuse to accept being gay. I often want to fade away because of it. I don't know if I ever will fully accept it but man I am proud of y'all for living your true selves. Hugs.

 

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)