I haven't posted in a while but had a good day today and thought I'd share. I think since properly accepting and becoming more open about my sexuality (quick background for those who don't know - I'm bisexual, married to man but had same sex relationship when I was much younger. A crush on a lesbian colleague made me stop and question by whole world basically). I feel as though I am more confident in who I am, I am more sure of my own opinions and beliefs and I'm happy to share those and I no longer care who disagrees and what people think anymore. I may even loose some friends as part of this process and I think I'm ok with that. I will definitely also gain some. I feel like I'm more able to be open and vulnerable with people (and about every aspect of life - not just sexuality). Although this is at times such a painful and hard process to go through I think in some ways we are lucky as we get an insight into the world that straight people will never get. Most of us will have questioned literally everything in our lives and got to know our true self's very well. We have all done a lot of soul searching and came out the other side a better person. ride:
That's an interesting way to look at it. I do feel like this process has allowed me to examine myself in ways that would have been unthinkable. By the way, I love that quote at the end.
dirtyshirt84.....I couldn't agree more with you concerning getting to know our true self. I had a kind of epiphany a few months ago about this. I realized that I shouldn't be angry because I was "cursed" with being gay but that I should be thankful. Because I was gay I went through about three years of soul-searching from the time I came out until I had the thoughts about this. Before I came out I would not let myself think about being gay. I didn't talk about it to anyone, I built a very high wall around my consciousness and kept everything gay related out. It was only when I reached a crisis point after 55 years of hiding that I took down that wall and allowed myself to start to think about what being gay meant. With the help of a therapist, I really examined myself deeply....why I did things, why I didn't etc. I learned a lot about myself...some of it I didn't like very much! I've worked pretty hard on changing some of those things that just were not what I really wanted to be. At times it was really painful to admit something, but I had to admit it if I was going to change it. I am such a different person now. When people notice the difference and comment on it, I feel so good that I have taken this path....the hard one. Then I think about the huge majority of straight people who never had to go through this process. As far as they knew, they fit in just fine and didn't need to change anything. That's why I am now so thankful that I am gay. Learning how to deal with my sexuality has taught me so much the straight guys will never learn. I feel sorry for them.....David
I think you definitely get to know yourself well...which I'm convinced some straight people never do. The quote is definitely true I can relate to a lot of what you say, David. I definitely also built a wall and shut certain feelings and thoughts out. I'm glad you got to a better place!
Good to hear from you, Dirtyshirt! My experience has a lot of similarities with yours. I've felt that challenge of being vulnerable, and I know the fear of losing friends. For me, it was a lot of soul-searching before I came out that was actually at the end of a long process of self-improvement (health and otherwise). I mentally prepared myself to lose any and all friends and family that I came out to. As it happened, I did lose a couple of friends and have gotten a cold reaction from some non-immediate family. My wife actually lost a couple of friends, too. But we've both gotten warm support from many friends and family, and we've both also gained new friends (which is awesome!) through LGBT Center volunteering and LGBT events. The feeling of freedom is awesome. But yeah, there are still challenges. It's been very worth it to me. I'm living my truth now. Life is too short not to, or to allow the reactions of others to cheat us out of this experience.
