45 closet Gay male but used to look at women in porn

Welcome to EC!

I'm roughly the same age as you (41), and I looked at a fair amount of straight porn in the past. I can't speak for why you did, but for me, it was because I wasn't aware that I was gay yet, and straight porn was pretty much the simplest form of porn to obtain at the time. Nowadays, if you want transsexual orgy porn with bondage gear and fursuits, you just do a search. Back when I was still figuring it all out (the late 80s and early 90s), it meant magazines, and usually whatever magazines I could scrounge, to boot. I was young and horny enough that even woman-on-woman porn would boost the horniness level. But as I grew up, and more things became available, I found that it was really men that were doing it for me. I came to the conclusion that I was gay, and went from there.

Back to you. You used to look at women in porn. Does that make you any "less gay"? My main thought is "no, not really", mainly because I was in the same boat, and I don't feel any less gay for having done so. But here's the real issue, methinks.

You're 45.
You're still closeted.
And you still seem to be "checking" to make sure you're not interested in women.
Why?

You've signed up to a gay support board, using the sign-in name "Homosexual", no less. It sounds like you know that you're gay. Are you having trouble accepting it? And acting on it? Maybe we can help you in that direction.

Lex

 

I'm kind of confused on what you are asking. Are you trying to see if you are still in some sort of denial? If you can't reach your full "gay potential" if you watch straight porn? or If you can be gay and still watch straight porn?

I really don't think there is a level of gayness that you must achieve to be able to be "gay enough." You are gay when you like other guys. That's it.

I have a friend who is as flamboyant as they come. Bright pink clothes, lisp, limping wrist and everything. Really cool guy, but you could say he is as gay as they come, yet he only watches straight porn. He really can't explain it, and I'm not going to act like I know either, but the point is that I wouldn't fret too much about it