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Straight Male attracted to PreOP Transexuals but I'm Married

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by confused4desire, Nov 5, 2012.

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  1. confused4desire

    confused4desire
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    Hi,
    I need some advice. I am a 32y/o, very happily married man. I love my wife, our sex life is great. I have kept the secret of being attracted to transexuals for a long time now, probably since college. I have never been with one but have always dreamed of it. I don't want to lose my wife, I love her dearly and am happy to be with her. This is just something I have dreamed about exploring for some time. If i tell her this, I'm afraid she would be distraught and it would really hurt her and our relationship. I know she would never be okay with me acting upon this desire, cheating is cheating. Do you think I should just be with a transexual as a secret, to get it out of my system? Should I tell my wife? Should I not tell her and not act upon it? Should I stick to T-porn during the time's my wife is away? Any and all advice/stories/companionship is welcome.
    Thanks in advance
     
    #1 confused4desire, Nov 5, 2012
  2. Toaddy

    Toaddy
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    Well, secrets can hurt your relationship almost as much as the truth. I would try to ease your way into it, maybe discuss it with her as if this was a desire you had when you were young but don't hint that you still have it now. Ask her if she's ever been attracted to anyone like that, and if she's uncomfortable with it...then drop it. Now, i have never been married but i know a thing or two about weird attractions. I am a lesbian through and through, but that doesn't stop me from fantasizing. So just work your way into, but keeping a secret lover just to see if you can "get it out of your system" i would strongly advise against. If your wife really loves you and knows you are committed to her then she shouldn't have a problem with it.
     
    #2 Toaddy, Nov 5, 2012
  3. Zontar

    Zontar
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    Yeah, that's normal. Lots of straight guys like transsexual girls. There was a google conference about this sort of thing saying exactly that, how the most popular porn searched by straight guys was transsexual girls.
     
    #3 Zontar, Nov 5, 2012
  4. confused4desire

    confused4desire
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    Thanks for the replies. I am glad to know it's a normal thing, this is something I've searched and read about for sometime now. I just don't think it's a normal thing for a wife to hear about their husband!

    Toaddy, your advice is smart although tough. I think "get it out of my system" was a bad choice for a phrase from me and certainly meant no disrespect to anyone. This is something I will never lose, I enjoy being attracted to both transexuals and females. I'm not confused by my desires, only confused about sharing them with someone else. Also worried about consequences to those I love.
     
    #4 confused4desire, Nov 5, 2012
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