Well, things came to a head last night. My husband finally hit on the realisation that all wasn't well. He was in a right state, crying and going to pieces. I just couldn't lie to him anymore. Turns out that he'd pretty much guessed what was up. As you can imagine, he's utterly devistated. He's being great about it though, we're gonna split the savings and he's gonna help me as much as he can with finding a place. I feel awful, he's torturing himself because he didn't help me through this. I've told him it's not his responsibility to sort out my life. That's pretty much it really, it's all out in the open now. I don't have to lie anymore. Thanks to everybody for their support on this forum. These last few weeks haven't been easy and I don't think I'd have got through it without a place to vent my spleen. So now I am openly gay.
wow... thats some tough shizz right there... Props to you on sorting it out and glad that your soon to be ex is accepting.. do you have any kids? if so, how did they take it?
Congratulations! I'm sorry it was such a stressful situation, but at least you can be honest now. (*hug*)
We have a 5 year old son so he's bit young to understand really. He'll be coming with me but we are going to organise access at weekends etc. It's gonna be tough on him but he's young enough to absorb the changes I think. By the time he's old enough to understand he'll be used to having a gay mother.
oh a toddler... do you think you'll find another lover (woman) that will love your kid like her own? sorry maybe its too soon to ask you that, im just really curious coz ive never heard of a woman leaving her husband so its like very big new to me ... dumb yeah i know... sorry
In the long term there's no reason why I won't find someone else. In the short term, the last thing I need is another relationship. You'd be surprised how common it is for people to leave their spouse because they are gay. I had no idea either, but reading this forum over the last couple weeks has opened my eyes.
your one brave cookie :eusa_clap if i were in you shoes i'd probably still be married ... this is why i like this website... you can read on all sorts of things that LBGT (soz i dont know if its spelt that way or not) and what they go through and sometimes its good to read that some one else on the other side of the world has been through it or is going through it too... Good Luck Chika and all the best to you and your BOY:eusa_danc
Well... I think this is good. I mean, its better than living a lie. I mean, I think you did the right thing regardless of how much it hurts.
Hi LoveMusicPoetry Congratulations for taking this very difficult step and heart wrenching step, I’m thinking of all 3 of you at the moment. Although very difficult I am sure that in the long run everything will turn out for the best and both you and your husband can move on and find happiness in life and new life partners. I am planning on coming out to my wife sometime this year so I fully understand and appreciate the stress and pain of trying to live a lie. Sale Gay Guy
Coming out is one of the hardest things we have to do it seems. You found the courage to take that huge step, and for that you get a big (*hug*)! Hopefully things will work out for all of you. He seems like a nice guy, so I don't think you will have "evil ex" syndrome. The road of the unknown will be rough, but we are always here for you. Keep us updated on how things are going and good luck hun! ^_^
Going thru same thing. Feeling guilty and blessed at same time because husband is so supportive. Hugs
Well done! And what courage! The first of all virtues is courage, without it all the other things that are good about you will not flourish - My heart goes out to you and your husband, this cannot be easy for either of you!
congratulations to you, LoveMusicPoetry. as others have said and i'm sure you already know, that was a very brave thing to do. i'm sure that in time, you and your family will be better off for it as honesty is so, so important in a relationship.... but in the meantime, i will be wishing you all the best during the rocky time ahead. stay strong.
Hi LoveMusicPoetry I would imagine that your husband is possibly thinking “what did I do wrong” or “I’m not man enough”, but as we all know on EC it is no one’s fault .. we are who we are, and we can’t change that and no one else is responsible for who we are. I think it would be helpful for your husband to realise that if he doesn’t at the moment. I don’t know what LGBT services are available in Oxford, but perhaps there is one aimed at families or spouses that may have information that would help your husband come to terms with what has happened. And as you come out of the closet he may find he has to go in the closet as he may not want his workmates to know exactly what is happening. Is he aware of the various stages of comming out, the denial, grief, acceptence etc., because he will no doubt have to go through some of that himself? Perhaps, if you are comfortable in showing him EC or selected print outs, you could show him some of the postings made by other married gay people as they struggle in coming to terms with their situation after discovering they are gay later in life and those who do divorce still remain the best of friends. ( I plan to do this with my wife when I am ready to come out to her) Sale Gay Guy P.S. It's nice that you are confident enough to put your photo on the site rather than an avatar that so many of us still feel we have to hide behind.
WOW! I am so happy for you! You took the first step to happiness. I have been routing for you these past few weeks. I shall look foward to reading about your new adventures that are to come and hope you find her soon. June
