It seems to be a common expression, that to me, seems derogatory. A "case" implies damaged goods, or mentally challenged. "Nut case" for example has a very negative connotation. One thing I've learned posting and reading this forum about coming out later in life is that there are a lot of people, with perfectly legitimate reasons, coming out later in life. I have a new-found respect for my fellow travelers in navigating a different and challenging world than is afforded the easy-out young gay person of today. OK, so it is never easy, but I aplaud my commrades here for sharing their struggles and for deciding for themselves the right time and circumstances for coming out. I have previously given shout outs to those who have been brave on a less tolerant era that effectively paved the way for the rest of us, so now it is time to recognize and seriously contemplate the journey of the so-called, "closet case." I'm proud of us all here doing what we need to do to live fulfilling lives wih pressures many will never know. Cheers.
We closet cases are a huge army. I am rather surprised the openly gay have not solicited the closet cases in aiding any way we can to push the gay agenda forward any way we can, even from the closet. Stuck
Hi, I accept that there are many reasons for people not to come out and we should never judge anyone else as we do not know the particular circumstances of their life. All I can say is that once we have come out and are free to be who we really are, then life gets better.
not everyone can come out.... everyone has their own reasons, but i dont think coming out will be beneficial in anyway for me personally... i'll have a lot more to loose and 0 to gain
Dimitrias, What do you have to lose? Your friends are established and your career is established. I found that what I feared losing is truly illusory. Nothing but smoke and mirrors. What is stopping yu? Stuck
I find the term 'closet case' derogatory too. I only use it when I suspect that someone who is really openly homophobic is really gay. I don't think that anyone can assume that just because they're able to come out, other people are too. There are so many variables, and the price one person pays for being 'themselves' is far higher than the price another person might pay. It varies from region to region, age to age, and from family to family. I think that gay people should be helping each other to come out, not criticising those who are unable to or who find it difficult. That's not to say I never use the word - or have never previously used it in gest regarding myself.
I agree with the (sometimes passive) negative implications of the word "case". But I am only ever offended by a term when it is used derogatorily (and then, I don't care what the word is...you can call me "white" in a tone and a way that would cut to the bone and wound...despite the fact that I find nothing inherently offensive about the word or its application to me). What confuses me is the deep need so many have to label people as "closet cases". Sure there are plenty of people "in the closet". And yes, there's a huge diversity of reasons why, and it's not a given that everyone "in the closet" would be happier if they were only "out of the closet". But there are also loads of people who are labeled "closet cases" who have no clue they are "in the closet". We realize our sexuality in such a diversity of ways through such a diversity of paths that can strike us at virtually any time of our life...and even then it can be incomplete...you may be convinced you're heterosexual for years and marry, then discover, oh shit, I'm gay, and divorce...then a few (or many) years later say, damn, y'know I think I'm really bisexual. And who knows...you may have been right all three times, and things changed; or you might have been initially in deep denial of your same-sex attractions, and then then in deep denial about your bisexuality. And you'll never really know which. And onlookers judge, and say "she was in the closet for so long". But to me, you aren't really "in the closet" until you feel those walls closing in around you. It's only when *you* know (or think you know) what your sexuality is, and you won't acknowledge it outwardly, when you take steps to hide who you really are...*that's* what leads to feeling alone, and like you're betraying yourself. Only then is there something to "come out" of. And people in that position deserve deep sympathy, support, love, and acceptance, so they can move to a happier place. They certainly don't need judgement and derision.
closet case is a put down obviously but some put downs are only negative in their tone and for reason of why it's being said yet they can be fairly accurate as a truth. Being called a closet case would not cause anguish from the term, hell closet case is what I am, but rather from the fact that you have to respond to that.
Having been in the closet a long time, being on my way out, if closet case is negative it is accurate. It is/was a negative state of existence.
This is very true. Compassion is most important to these people. I think in many cases that being in the closet can suck the creativity out of someone, and after a few years of that, this is when the spirit gets smothered. A person in this situation deserves compassion (unless that are a law making voting against gay rights year after year).
old name dimitriaus was changed. coz all my mates know me as dimitriaus... Mom - dont wanna break her heart (she is very anti gay)and to add to that...i lost my dad last year and ive no other siblings so its best i play the good son and never come out... Kids - my two 11 yr olds will probably hate me and would be embarass of me best mate and gf - theyre both back home in the us and so no one to have my back current mates - very homophobic and would dump my a** dont know any gay people outside of EC ... so thats what i mean by alot to loose and nothing to gain
