I had a long discussion today with my ultra-supportive younger brother. He's a really innovative person, and at his delicate age of 23 has gotten really far (great salary, job, etc.) in his profession, and most importantly, he makes sure his number one priority is treating people right, especially his brother. We were brainstorming ideas for raising a family in the 21st century, and my idea was to come back to a tribal mentality in NYC. Like me and my girlfriend could have kids, I'd live and sleep with my partner, she'd have hers, and we'd raise our kids communally. I think the kids would have a blast. The straight men would hunt for food (subway rats, Whole Foods, whatever), and the women and gay guys would raise the kids and practice their art! There is a solution to any situation, so long as we're alive in this world. Since my girlfriend and I are soulmates, we can make any situation work. It's up to us. We have this foundation already. And we have the most important qualities for raising kids - a deep commitment and love to each other. Anybody can raise kids with love. My brother was saying the reason gay couples are often such good parents is because not only they have to raise kids, they also have to shut the world up in the process.
Sooo....Just to throw out a notion here. How would you and your girlfriend feel about a poly-amorous arrangement of some kind? Polyamory - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia I have no idea how one goes about setting up such a thing, or how they are made to work (although everything I've read or seen always talks about the importance of communication and trust). However, a bit of quick research (and a recent post) indicates that there are people here on EC who are in/have been in poly relationships, they occasionally appear on evening TV news magazines, the Advocate did a fairly extensive article on same-sex poly relationships some years ago, and an associate of mine has indicated that he is involved in one. In addition, there is at least one poly organization in NYC (I kind of get the sense you're close to there, but could be completely wrong): Polyamorous NYC and a Meetup group: The New York Polyamory Meetup Group (New York, NY) - Meetup And probably much else, including forums like EC but focused on this, I'd rather expect. I also found this video, which is about a same-sex triad in NY. Probably just of academic interest to you since it's three guys, but still interesting: Polyamorous Relationships in New York City on Vimeo No idea how the legalities of all this would work (children, wills, property, etc. although I suppose some sort of corporate structure could be set up. Absolutely anyone can become a corporation these days). Although I'd bet the poly community has info on that sort of thing if you were interested. This may be completely not what you are looking for, but your posts over the last several days indicate you are feeling quite a bit of distress over the thought of losing your girlfriend and your post here seems to indicate an openness to at least the idea of something in the ballpark. So figured I'd put it out there. Hope this helps, Todd
This is an excellent post, Todd. My therapist was just telling me and my girlfriend about polyamory today.
Yeah, I was looking into this just now. Cool beanz! I am going to see how I swing this situation, pun intended.
No, no no....Trader Joe's is THE place for gay guys to go cruse on Friday nights. If you want food prepared properly go for a lesbian woman or a gay guy, except it becomes kind of "frilly"...LOL. (Just kidding). Male 'chefs' are all ego driven and not that good. Find a pastry chef/cook. That'll do ya. Plus find someone who has mid-west roots. (Like I was...my grandma could make fantastic food out of air because of growing up in the depression) I think more of the reason gay couples are great parents are that they wanted it so bad they fought for it. They knew full on coming into it what it meant and what they were facing. Not some accident in the back seat of a Chevy. Know what I mean? My youngest, now 21, is the light of my life. I was married at the time but had to fight with physical problems to have her. I like the idea of open families. It seems more natural. IronC
Open families sound really good. Tribal family in NYC. It's a cool idea, especially in the age of crazy speed. Also, I am a really good cook. When I don't do the piano, I'm cooking. I'm an amazing mother already.
