I'm not a cryer but very close now. Just overwhelmed. Too much sh**t all at once. Holidays suck having to put on the show for ultra conservative inlaws. Insert 100+ Fbombs of your choice here. When do I get to be me?
Presumably when the holidays are over...and when the inlaws are further away. Hang tight. (*hug*) Lex
Rose, I hear you. I had to lead a holiday party yesterday for my family, and it was way too intense emotionally. After the dinner, I just retreated to the bedroom and didn't even finish leading it. Dealing with my attractions was too much to deal with. After only my family and girlfriend were there, I came out to them. That went really well, but yes, being there and being a closet gay is so freaking hard. Next year, I hope to have what I need to do it better.
Thanks-Lex and Musician.- If I came out to inlaws it would be equivalent of taking out a newspaper announcement. I wish I could be me w/o hurting people. Its all or nothing right now.
Do you have any ways to physically help relieve the stress? Running, biking, boxing, etc? I'd recommend that. Get out by yourself for a bit and come back once you have had some time to center yourself if possible.
Playing straight for the family certainly does suck, especially around holidays where there's a lot of it all at once, but sometimes it has to be done in order to have family. I try to make time specifically for something gay when I finally escape - extra time on EC or other gay sites, or buy a book or some other treat. Best wishes. (*hug*)