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I told my sister today.

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Femmeme, Mar 26, 2013.

  1. Femmeme

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    I explained to her that'd I'd been questioning my sexuality, and I was pretty sure I'm a lesbian and I'd just been repressing it all these years. You know what she said?

    She said she had wondered, and if that was the case it wouldn't surprise her at all. Of course I asked her why she thought that and she had no idea.

    My straight sister has better gaydar than I do. So not fair.

    We talked a bit about how and why I had been repressing it, and she was so understanding. She told me she was proud of me, and told me she wished I wasn't so hard on myself for taking so long to get here... and she cried because she knew I was hurting.

    I can't even tell you how glad I am I had that conversation with her.

    I tried coming out to a friend a few days ago and got to hear about why she didn't think I was a lesbian... and I just sat there and didn't argue and didn't correct her. So having my sister listen and understand and BELIEVE me... I'm just so grateful. How silly is it that people don't believe you when you tell them you're gay?

    What I'm thinking now is that I'm going to call the local LBGTQ services office and ask for a referral to a therapist with experience in guiding people through the coming out process and work on being clearer and more sure of myself so when as I come out to more people I don't have to argue about it. I seem to really need help putting my foot down and saying, No really, I am a lesbian.

    But today, today was good. Now I'm going to curl up with my dog, eat ice cream, watch The L Word and cry (the good releasing kind of crying.) How gay is that? :lol:
     
  2. LEZmis4

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    My biggest fear ever during this process has been that I will finally work up the guts to tell someone I'm gay, and they won't believe me...or they'll question me to much...
    So far, of the people I've told, the only person to question it was my former therapist. I can't tell you the damage that has done...

    I'm SO glad it went well with your sister. :slight_smile: That has to be a relief! I'm THRILLED for you! :slight_smile:
     
  3. Wolfie Charm

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    Absolutely awesome story!! Happy for you. :grin: Now I rather wish my sister was closer to me lol.
     
  4. PeteNJ

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    Congratulations! What a great sister you have. You should be very proud of taking this step -- for you, for the relationship with her.
     
  5. Femmeme

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    Thank you all!!! My experience today made this whole process seem so much more feasible.

    LEZmis, I'm so sorry your therapist did that to you! That had to be awful, and it's exactly why I'm calling for a referral. I don't think I could handle a therapist that questioned me on this.
     
  6. Tamayat

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    Hooora Good for you :slight_smile: . I know it is not easy but when you face and you say to yourself that is it then starts to get easier. Life is just gonna keep getting better from now on. . xoxoxo
    very happy for you
    Your Sister is awesome , I m sure mine will be too.
    She will probably cry a little
     
  7. BBird75

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    When I started to realise I would need to come out, other people's disbelief was possibly my biggest fear, that prevented me from moving forward.

    Amazingly, happily, it hasn't been the issue I thought it would be. Some people have questioned, but gently, because they have questions and want to understand how I came to be where I am at the age I'm at... and I'd rather they ask than just 'believe', just to humour me, in a patronising way.

    Have courage. Keep telling people. If they don't believe you, shrug your shoulders, and go back and see them again when you have a girlfriend to introduce! :grin:
     
  8. Italy or Bust

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    Congrats on an important step! It is truly a relief when a supportive person accepts and supports you. Those that don't (at least initially) are dealing with their own disbelief. It isn't a reflection on you as much as it is hard for them to process. In time, your friend will likely respond as your sister did. Everybody processes these things at their own rate.

    Again, congrats and way to go!!
     
  9. fairlyfey

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    Oh that's soo great. I'm not on speaking terms with most of my family so I obsess over how my sister will react. I'm not so sure about my parents, but I think she'll be on my side. Is your sister the first in your family to know?
     
  10. theMaverick

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    Congratulations! I'm afraid if I told someone and they didn't believe me and wanted to know why, I'd probably start crying.