This may be a long read and I have no one to talk to. I have been straight my whole life. I was never attracted to women. I have a lot of gay/bi friends but they never hit on me. One girl did and I totally lost it in my 20's. I'm in my mid 30's now. I met a young lady about 5 years ago at a networking event with her boyfriend (now husband). We clicked instantly. That day I felt "funny" when I met her and almost couldn't look at her in the face...We exchanged numbers and kept in touch. I thought nothing of it but she always invited me to her events and eventually her wedding. One time after she was married we all went out (hubby and stuff) I had recently gotten out of a relationship with a guy I loved and I was devastated. (I have a hard time liking men and when I do and it goes wrong I'm distraught). Her hubby knows we party hard together so whenever I'm around he usually goes to sleep because he can't hang. This one time I had planned on staying with them because my commute home was an hour away. We got to talking and the conversation got weird to me and I said I had to go. She put her hands in between my legs and said "you don't have to leave." As drunk as I was I left because I got horny for the first time from a woman and didn't know what to do with those feelings. I left and parked around the corner from her house and went to sleep in my car. We met up after that but no one mentioned it so we never talked about it. I moved out of that city for a job and we kept in touch. I couldn't get her out of my head. I came back to town about 4 months ago and asked her for out for dinner. We met up and had drinks and then went to a hookah bar. I'm not sure if it was the hookah but I was really comfortable around her. I put my hand on her lap and moved it and she put it back.. She started dancing in front of me and then she started grinding on me.. Now.. I don't usually allow this to happen but I let her... She was so into it she had an orgasm and my mouth dropped. I couldn't believe I could do that to someone ... So many emotions was running through my head all I could do was kiss her and ask her to come back to my room. Then things got fuzzy. I think I was too drunk to process what was happening... I walked off to clear my head and she got mad at me. The next day she let me know she was mad that I left her but I told her I needed to clear my head because I was so confused. I asked her to come and see me in my town so we can talk. She said ok and that she missed me... 4 months passed and she didn't make any plans... I asked her why haven't she booked a flight...........she tells me..........she's pregnant. She is exactly the months I left my old city... I've never been into women.. Still not but I like her alot and I don't know what to do because I've never felt like this... any suggestions? Are we both bi curious or what? I can't get her to talk about it... and when she was finally ready to talk to me about it she turns up pregnant and I must admit it hurt. I'm just so confused about all of this. ETA: I found a secret website she has that has a picture of us on it. She wrote how she loved me and wanted me to move back... yet she hasn't told me this...so confused..
Well , Let me tell you I have always been attracted to women but suppressed my feelings. I was not willing to accept it. Now in my mid 30s and its just getting too out of control. I smile when I see two women holding hands, I fantasize about women. But still to afraid to actually date a girl. I did how ever one time brought in a chick from a club and really wanted to get intimate with her. She did nt let me. Smart of her because if she did I would have probably never call her or just call when I felt like I wanted sex. She gave me her # next day I trow away her #. I'v decided to start dating women instead of looking for one to full fill my sexual desires. Bec I think that is a trick I am playing on myself to avoid confronting who I am. After all if I don't commit to any one I cant keep it a secret. I maybe bisexual or lesbian I dont know. But I am not going to deny it any more. I hope reading my story helps you
