Building on emotional sand?

Listen to your gut. Don't ignore the tiny little voice in the back of your mind.

But at the end of the day, there are never any guarantees and you cannot get a reward without risk. Assume you may get hurt, but don't let that stop you from trying.

My due centessimi.

 

Not that I'm that mature, but I think it would kind of depend on what you mean by "over investing" and how long you've known the person. I guess, does the reciprocation from this person feel like its worth your "investment?"
I know in my earliest relationships I had a tendency to become overly emotionally attached to guys in the early stages and go out of my way to make myself available. I don't know, but I think it had something to do with being able to actually be completely myself with someone instead of having to keeping my feelings hidden all of the time or something, at least for me.
I know it sounds cliche, but for me mutual feelings always seemed to come when I least expected it.
Best of luck

P.s. I like your little horse drawing.

 

Well, I'm always loath to claim I'm mature in any way
But if you're willing to overlook that: some thoughts:

- To keep with the building metaphor: you don't build a house if the concrete of the foundations isn't dry yet. Which means: taking your time.
It's natural to be smitten with someone and feel like the chance is now and you have to do EVERYTHING in your power to make it work. It's like that for teens, but sometimes even more so for older people (who feel that they wasted enough time already).

But yet... moderation is not detrimental to a healthy relationship (be that romantic, friendship, or any kind of relationship, really). If it is one for the ages, it can stand going slow.

If you find yourself starting to emotionally invest in someone, it is good to occasionally take the time to go over the timing.
How long have you known each other? What would you do for other friends after knowing each other for that time? Are you feeling pressured to do something for fear of losing the person? If so, is this pressure coming from yourself, or from the other person? What if you would keep things going on the exact same level for a couple of weeks?

Maybe even write down the answer. "I have known this guy for three weeks, and I feel pressured to sleep with him because otherwise he might leave me for someone more available". Or "I have known this guy for two years and I'm afraid to ask him where this sudden flirtyness is going as I don't want to scare him away". Putting it in that format makes it more concrete than a vague feeling of "OMG Must act now!"
And often, if it's staring you in the face like that, it's easier to assess.


- Don't keep it all to yourself. Involve friends. Lay down the situation and ask them what they would do. You aren't bound by it, but the thoughts from people who aren't directly emotionally involved can be good to ponder. If you feel like "my friends wouldn't understand", then that's a sign you're definitely building on sand. A relationship that doesn't stand any external scrutiny is most likely one that isn't all that healthy to begin with.

(If you are good at distancing yourself from your immediate emotions, you can even do this as a theoretical exercise: what would you do if a friend would lay this situation out?)

- Communicate with the person. Yes: "where is this going?" is a scary sentence. But if a relationship is going to stand the test of time, it can stand four words
If it all has to go fast and without thinking, that's one more sign you're not doing the right thing.


But, as I said, the above are just a couple of thoughts.