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Here goes

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by lionel, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. lionel

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    Hi friends, I just e-mailed my gay friend and invited him to tapas, cigars, and cocktails Saturday night. If he accepts the invite, I'll come out to him at dinner , this will be the first time in 47 years that I've said I'm gay to anyone ever. I hope he accepts the invite , can't wait to hang with him and say it ! Super exciting, I'm really looking forward to sharing the truth with him! In some way it feels a bit selfish. Hmmm, this cage we build for our selves called the closet is so strong ! Wish me luck, I'll keep you posted . Lionel
     
  2. Femmeme

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    That's awesome good luck! :thumbsup:
     
  3. AquaRegia

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    Damn that closet. Good luck :slight_smile:
     
  4. TestingitOut

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    Oh who could refuse tapas, cigars, and cocktails?! Id like to be invited to that lol

    Good luck!
     
  5. PeteNJ

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    Excellent! keep posting!
     
  6. lionel

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    Hi friends, the dates on for Tuesday (all via e-mail). First e-mail... "Lets get together socially, how bout tapas , cigars and drinks Saturday". his answer," can't, but next Saturday Is good" . My answer. "Can't next Saturday cause children are home. How bout a week night? " his answer " sorry it took so long to answer , very busy day. Tuesday is good , I'm not a cigar smoker , not into tobacco addiction , but the menu looks good, I'll give it a try."
    My natural tendency is to hop on the crazy thinking bus and start answering tobacco addiction questions , and why the apology for taking long to answer when it was s same day answer, and why "sure ill try a restaurant with you " and not ... Great looking forward to hanging out? " and etc. I'm gonna call today and check in , let him know I'm glad we're gonna hang out, and I'll recommend a venue change to a non cigar room. Just keeping in touch .. thanks for listening all! Keep well, your friend Lionel
     
  7. Dublin Boy

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  8. skiff

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    Initially I thought you were cooking at home.

    So this is first ever coming out is happening in a public room in a restaurant?

    That is courageous.
     
  9. lionel

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    Thanks DB, and yes skiff, I'm all in. Public table popular restaurant. I'm burning to say I'm gay out loud. It is time ! I'll let you know how it goes.
     
  10. bingostring

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    Coming out first to a gay man is a great step to take.. good luck.
     
  11. RainbowMan

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    A gay man is who I first came out to as well (besides my therapist), in public (though talking to him alone off to the side.) Felt so liberating that I can't even describe it.

    And don't read too much into his emails, I'd probably say similar things even if I were really looking forward to it. Saying "I'll try a new place" doesn't mean that he's dreading it! Though I wouldn't get all preachy about tobacco addiction, I'd equally prefer not to go to a cigar bar. Mainly because indoor smoking has been illegal here in NYC for a number of years, except for places like that. Therefore, I'm not used to being around smoke (I don't smoke - cigars or anything else) so I'd probably be less than enthused to go there.

    That being said, I do like the smell of cigars! :grin:
     
  12. lionel

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    Hi friends, beautiful spring day here, just back from dinner and drinks, his treat. Easy conversation, good food, beautiful alfresco dining. Sorta never came out to him but he asked me to go out again. It turned into a date ... I flirted and so did he. ... Ok , next time I'll come out to him !
     
  13. skiff

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    Happy for you. Sometimes words are not necessary. Congrats!

    All this talk about cigar smoke.. My dad smoked cigarettes, moved to cigars, then a pipe at which point he quit smoking. Cigarette and cigar smoke stink to me, but oh that pipe smelled good! I think he smoked red Amphorah (sp?). Nice memory
     
  14. SaleGayGuy

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    Hi Lionel

    Great news it sounds like you had a good time and with all that flirting it probably won’t be necessary to come out to your old friend but it’s probably a good idea to do so anyway to get the practice in.

    Sale Gay Guy
     
  15. lionel

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    Thanks fellas, turns out he got sick off a cigar years ago in college . I only smoke cigars very infrequently for fun. Not an issue, we just picked a different venue. I like the advice, thanks... I'll go ahead and come out to him next date, just for practice,
     
  16. Lexington

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    If you're dating, you've already come out to him. :slight_smile:

    Lex