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Slowly moving forward, but with a moment of huge irritation

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by BMC77, Apr 14, 2013.

  1. BMC77

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    Yet another one of my posts with my babbling. No real question, just some thoughts. Feel free to print and save for nights when insomnia strikes...

    I attended a church service this morning at a church I sometimes go to. (No official tie.) No idea how LGBT friendly the church is, but it's friendlier than some I can name.

    I talked briefly about church LGBT issues with one person who is very much a member of the church, and, in fact, is very actively involved the church. This is getting easier to talk about. A month ago, I'd have avoided the topic completely. Couldn't appear gay, you know.

    I also had a chance to talk with a man who works at the place my dad does. I didn't even need one minute of conversation to know that he probably is one of the people who drives my dad nuts. (This is not a personal issue. It's a differing viewpoint on "workplace politics.") With that in mind, and noticing that this man I talked to had no wedding ring, I suddenly began wondering what my dad would do if I ended up married one day to one of the people who drive him crazy at work... (Incidentally, no, there is no hope for the man I talked to: we are way too far apart in age, too much income gap, too much education gap. Plus there was just no feeling of clicking on any level--just a nice, brief chat, and went different paths.)

    On the dark side, however, I overheard one older woman talking about LGBT issues. I couldn't follow all she was saying, but it was clear she was not LGBT friendly. She had some harsh words to say about exposing teenagers to LGBT issues. I said nothing. And I think there is nothing I could say that would make a difference. Yet I have been haunted in the hours since, wishing there was something I could say that would encourage her to reconsider, or at least understand a little better.

    ---------- Post added 14th Apr 2013 at 02:44 PM ----------

    Oh, yes...as for the title of this thread: that old woman was the moment of huge irritation. And slowly moving forward is my willingness to talk about LGBT issues.
     
  2. skiff

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    Hi,

    You didn't deliver. I am still awake. :slight_smile:

    If it is any help...
    Most churches are blind stupid on this topic. It s a legal/constitutional issue anyway.

    My mother is 85. She stopped thinking 20 years ago. She just parrots what her favorite talking heads say. No point in talking common sense to those who are not thinking.

    Water off a duck's back buddy.
     
  3. BMC77

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    Well, Skiff, your mother may not have thought in the last 20 years. But that is, unfortunately, better than many people seem to manage: a lifetime of absolutely no thought whatever!

    Yes, many churches are stupid on LGBT matters. Not sure the exact stance at this one--next time I see someone from it, I'll have to ask if they've performed any same sex marriages, which will tell a lot.

    I think what bothered me about that old woman is her focus on (apparently) trying to keep kids/teenagers "pure." At least, that was my sense. I grew up knowing very little about LGBT, and I wish I'd known something. If I had, I might have understood my feelings of attraction to other guys, and been able to deal with it better than I did deal with it. It's too late for me, but I think it's critical to make sure that today's and tomorrow's teenagers have accurate information.
     
  4. greatwhale

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    Completely agree about the need for better information but I would argue that this better information would also need an environment of better acceptance, which, (thank heavens!) is finally starting to happen!
     
  5. BMC77

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    You're right.
     
  6. BradThePug

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    The sad thing is that there will always be people that never get it. You could provide them all the info in the world, and they would still say that you are sinning. Maybe someday these people will be willing to change, but that time has not come yet.
     
  7. Filip

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    Maybe the huge irritation is also a good sign about you moving on. I do remember being in the closet and really not minding too much about homophobic stuff.

    It was only when I started coming out and being more comfortable with myself that I really started getting irritated when people spouted uninformed bigotry.

    I guess that when you're moving on, it just becomes more apparent when others are standing still.