How do you meet people?

Ohana-Thanks. Feel same way. I don't drink so bars are out. Don't like clubs.Was going to join softball league but blew out knee. If I went into a bar they would probably think I was a cougar (or whatever lesbian version of that is called.) I don't need any more self esteem busting days right now.

 

i also want to meet other, respectful, transsexuals and i dont do the bar scene at all so yea thats a struggle. you could try dating apps like 'meetme' or 'plenty of fish' theres even more serious (not free) ones i have met a few friends but not what im looking for. ok well i guess im gonna go hide under my blankets again ciao

 

There are sites other than this where LGBT people can meet like-minded people in their area...some have chat rooms where you can get to know someone somewhat before deciding whether to meet in real life. Sites where the point is dating *and* community, rather than just community and support.

Even if you don't want to date someone you meet online, you can still get information from them about what LGBT groups are in your area, and activities you might enjoy other than clubs.

If you don't care for online interaction at all (aside from forums), many areas have an LGBT community that meets or has events or whatever. If you're in a college/university town, that's a good place to look for notices about LGBT groups that you can join and meet people. Any city has an LGBT underground/scene. If you can stomach going to a club once, go and talk to people and find out what they can recommend to someone who doesn't drink or enjoy clubs. There almost certainly is something.

 

Omg. I worked myself up into a hysterical wreck over my first gay bar experience.

It took me so much planning and effort and psyching myself up just to get myself to do it that when I finally went in, I stood there in the doorway for a moment, as if I were waiting for confetti and balloons to rain down on me and everyone to turn around say, "YOU MADE IT YAYYY!"

It was a completely normal looking bar. Everyone in it looked like normal people. Nobody even looked up.

I was so shocked I turned right around and walked out, went home and watched the L Word and drank alone. True story.

Look up the bar's website to see if there are any weekly events. I think it's easier to socialize at a Glee watching party than just sitting alone, drinking alone. But, I don't really do the bar scene-- too broke-- so that's pretty much all I can tell you.

You could also Google "lesbians [name of your city]." When I lived in New York, there was an online calendar of all the various gay events going on month by month. (It was called "The Homosexual Agenda," of course.) I saw stuff like board game nights, reading rooms, archives, support groups, an LGBT center, bookstores, and even a knitting circle.

Oh-- meetup.com is a good resource too. Just do a search for "lesbians" in your city.

 

I met a woman on Pinkwink.com. Texting her back and forth as I type this. It is really hard for me to to know if my lesdar is working so I have gotten to know several women this way (online) but really like the one I am texting. Zoosk is pretty good too. Not for everybody but my partnered/married lesbian friends recommended it.

 

I am in the same boat as everyone else here. I am not a drinker, not a person who enjoys loud music...so I don't go out to clubs. I would like to meet guys socially, but have no idea where to begin looking. Any help would be appreciated.

 

My local lesbian bar (the only one in the entire gay village if I remember rightly, or at least the only one that has remained open) is mostly made up of slightly older women. At least it was the few times I went with an old friend. I assume that's because unlike the rest of the quarter the bar was in fact a bog standard pub which just so happened to cater for lesbians, so it appeared pretty chilled.

However most of my people minded female friends have opted for the various lesbian focused dating/community websites rather than bars. That or they've joined local activity groups focused on lesbians; there's a local walking group, mostly made up of women aged 35+, and apparently it's an excellent way to make friends.

Otherwise I just cross my fingers and hope for the best as I go about my daily life. One day I'm bound to bump into someone who is not so straight they make a rule look curvy.

 

I'm not ready to date, but I would like to know some LGBT people who aren't just words or pictures on a computer screen.

My area has at least a million people between 2 counties. You'd think there would have be something other than a gay bar, but, to date, I've found nothing. Well, correction: I did find something, but it's only for lesbians, which is of no help to me..:bang:

I know of at least one gay bar, but I don't really like bars. I'm not interested in on-line dating, partly because I don't feel like I'm ready to date, and partly because I think when I'm ready for a relationship, I might be better off with meeting people and letting something develop, rather than taking the "we'll date from day #1" approach would work better.

There are at least some options about an hour from here, but it's hard getting there. Particularly since I think given my personality I'd have to go regularly. If I could go sometimes, and get lots of contacts to add to Facebook, that would be one thing. But I'm not like that.

Maybe I should just plan to hide out in the closet. Maybe in 20 years things will be better...

 

I got really lucky when I moved to where I live now. I might have come out much later had I not met up with ladies from high school who listened to me, welcomed me, showed me around, and introduced me to others. Everyone says to "go to Lawrence, Kansas". Well, I haven't gone there to meet anybody specific though I have made new friends from there over the past few weeks (links to friends here in Manhattan and I went to a lesbian/feminist friendly concert last weekend). One of these days I will go there to actually meet the woman I am talking to right now.

 

I just posted on this subject somewhere else, but now I forget where. (I think I need more help navigating this site than my confusion about sexual orientation.)

Anyhow, yeah, good question. There oughta be an equivalent of gay/lesbian bars for those of us who are not at all interested in that scene. Say, for instance, your favorite bookstore or neighborhood restaurant had a section for people who are recently out. I could be perusing new books of interest and books and meet a man of interest in the bargain. "Oh, you like literary biographies too? Great. Hey you're kind of cute. Do you want to have dinner? It would also be great at a concert hall, during intermission.

I mean, ideally, you'd meet a friend/potential partner the same way as in straight life. At work, at a dinner party with friends (how I met my wife), whatever. But it seems like a crap shoot.

 

There are literary groups and First Friday groups for lesbians in some cities around here. Not here in Manhattan though darnit. First Friday's are potlucks the first Friday of every month where a bunch of lesbian friends and the people they invite, get together. I am thinking of going to one 90 miles away next month. I want to invite the woman I am interested in, too. Trying to figure out to navigate the whole relationship/dating thing right now. Who calls first? Who asks who out - or do you both decide? I'm milking my friends for answers.

 

Learning how to take the initiative in a girl-girl relationship is hard. I'm still working on that one. I think the rule is, ask if you want to ask, and you should offer to pay if you did the asking.

 

There's this website called meetup. It's has lots of groups, base on your interest and in your case LGBT, that meet up in your area. I've join some around where I live and they do different things each month or even each week. It's worth a shot. Also, check out your local lgbt center.