Hi. I'm 51 yo, married 6+ years. Always conflicted over feelings and desires for men. Finally came out to myself and told wife I'm gay. She's hurt and scared for the future, but she's glad I told her. She said she wondered for a long time, so not big surprise. I love her and my son, but life will change now. I feel like a big burden was lifted. Lots more to say, but I'll leave it here for now. Thanks.
Welcome! So many of us here, men and women, who are coming to terms with our sexuality while in hetero relationships, many of us with kids, too. I know it sounds trite, but it does get better! Being honest and open about ourselves is the first step to healing and building a life that allows us to be ourselves. In less than 6 months, I've gone from depressed, unhappy, and deeply closeted to out to everyone in my life. I'm happily dating. Keep posting -- many of us here can relate.
Congratulations for taking the big step. I am hopefully just a few steps behind you and I have already gained so much helpful information from others on this site who have done the same. I only joined recently but I know you will find everyone here so helpful.
Yup, we are here for you, and for each other. Most of us are going through our own version of this, and we need your help, too. Sharing our stories here has helped me immeasurably. Welcome aboard. We'll get through this, all of us!
I'm new to this site as well. I have been reading posts by other married folks and can relate to a lot of the experiences I'm hearing about. I'm glad to be as out as I am, especially to my wife. But also anxious and afraid of what comes next.
Thanks for sharing this Eric. It was a very big step to take, and I am glad that you feel the lifting of some of the weight you have been carrying. As others have mentioned, it would be good to hear back from you as your situation evolves. Congratulations on having taken this brave step, and I wish you the best for the journey ahead of you.
Just to add to this, I'm making it sound more simplistic than it is. A few weeks ago, my wife found out I had watched some gay-themed movies. She confronted me and asked if I was gay or bisexual. I said I thought I was bisexual. I never considered myself gay even though all my fantasies are with men. Who was I kidding? I'm now examining my life and I'm going to a counselor. My wife is going through her own hell and I feel terrible about it. Yes, I'm glad I could admit being gay and not bisexual as I have no true sexual interest in women. However, I'm worried for my wife who I truly love how she'll get through this. I'm not yet worried for my son who's very young. Anyway, just a bit more information. Thanks.
She will get through it. It won't be easy, but delaying honesty does make it harder. Trust me on this one. Please read some other accounts and you will see we are indeed dealing with a similar issue. We feel for you, and can empathize with what you are going through. Keep posting here, too. Great people, and sharing experiences truly helps. That said, your pace is your pace. I'm glad to hear you are working with a counselor.