I think it's called excitement! I'm feeling things with an intensity that I haven't had for so, so many years. I didn't realize how dulled-out my emotions were. ANd yesterday it dawned on me that I am excited for my life. For years, I felt like the best years were behind me. Today, I feel like the best years are yet to come. I probably shouldnt get too far ahead of myself. There are still difficult times to come, I'm sure. Telling the kids, moving out, adjusting to life as a single mom, as a single person, as a gay person. But at least for the moment, I feel happy and I'm looking forward to the next step. And I think this might be the first time in this process that I was excited to take the next step versus being fearful and delaying it. Whatever these feelings are, I hope it continues!
Congratulations Ohana. I'm glad you're so happy. The first time I cam out as gay to my wife, I was walking on air for 24 hours. Then I panicked and denied it. Today I came out for good. Right now I mainly feel relief, but also a little scared. So there are difficult things ahead. But enjoy the feeling as much as you can right now. And on the other side of all that difficult stuff, you'll find a more sustainable happiness. I'm happy for you.
Ohana- Now I have the Pointer Sisters song.... " I'm So Excited...." going in my head. Today is a mix of happy-excited-nauseous-scared. Sometimes its just good to be in the now for a bit. Hugs-Rose Bill- As I posted on your thread-proud of you. R
I am at about the same stage. I'm feeling things I've never felt before, I'm enjoying exploring myself and I'm looking forward to having my own space and being able to express myself as I choose. I also love being out, it's great, it's like a whole new freedom. In my years of ignorance, I would've never imagined that being gay felt so good. I've just come out and I feel liberated. I'm glad you are feeling happy as well. It's great isn't it. Just remember all the happy on the next downer. I'm up and down all the time. Still, this level of emotion is new to me and at least I know I'm alive.
