Husband and I had an appointment with our daughter's therapist today to discuss how we were going to tell her about the divorce. Funny thing, we talked about our daughter for maybe three minutes before it turned into some sort of couples counseling. It was very intense to listen to the deep sadness and disappointment that my husband expressed. He perceives me as being remorseless about all of this like it's not causing me any pain to leave him and our family. I tried to explain that this has been difficult for me too, but that I don't feel like it's fair of me, after ruining his life by coming out, to then lay my fears and worries on him too. "I'm leaving you, but, here, please comfort me while I cry about how hard it is for me to leave you." He is so supportive and understanding and patient and kind...sometimes I think it would be easier to part if he was an asshole. I guess I just don't feel worthy of his friendship. Anyway, it was a productive session. We're going again next week to actually talk about our daughter this time And we both agreed that maybe getting into some sort of couples/family therapy might be really helpful.
Sending you big hugs, Ohana. I know how you feel. My husband is my best friend. He said he needs a break from talking. Think he is on overload. He is a "fixer" and this is something he can't fix. He does not want to talk to anyone about our break-up until 100% official in case I change my mind.... Take care Rose
In the stages of grief think husband is beginning anger stage... not in a violent way but unlike him snippy. I have let a few hurtful comments slide that deserved a WTF. If you havent read stages of grief page here go to EC homepage & click on resources then click coming out and you will see parents/family stages of grief article.
Hope your doing better Ohana-Think I might take son to my therapist after we tell him about divorce/Mommy's gay for a couple of visits. And YES you are worthy of your husbands friendship. You choice of Ohana as a name here says about you that you value family & friends deeply. Hugs
