Kids came over last night

My three kids finally came to see my place last night for dinner. Prior to this, only my daughter had seen the place while I was searching for an apartment.

The moment they arrived, they felt immediately comfortable (having the old furniture didn't hurt) and I had set up the TV (currently sitting on top of a box of my old school textbooks - I really have to get rid of those) so they wouldn't be bored (heaven forfend!).

I had earlier bought the ingredients for dinner, per my older (16) son's instructions, as he was going to make fish and chips. He really wanted to try out my gas stove too. My daughter (14) immediately took charge of my pantry, which she felt was insufficiently organized (this, from a girl whose room would rival the mess that was found in Tutankhamen's tomb).

While dinner was being made, my younger son (10) and my daughter went out to the little park across the street. I could easily see them from my window. Upon their return, they proceeded to check out the buzzer (a few times just to see if it worked) to let them in, such fun! :dry:

My younger son looked at me with a mock-serious tone and asked: "So dad, how is your health?", he said it such a adult-sounding way that we all burst out laughing-he has a very quirky and subtle sense of humour, that one.

My two older kids keyed in the code on their smartphones to use the Wi-Fi and proceeded to stare at the phone screens, him while cooking, her while sitting on the balcony talking to her friends. As my bed is the only soft large surface in the house (no sofa or easy chair yet) she proceeded to lie on my bed and text her heart out. My younger son commandeered this computer and started playing his favourite online games.

After I finished making a salad, we proceeded to sit down for dinner (delicious), I bought cookies and fresh mango for desert and a little later, I brought them home.

What struck was the normalcy of all this; how unbelievably resilient they were with such a monumental change in their lives. It was such a calm and quiet evening, and they were just being themselves. They offered to help clean after dinner and to help me get set up if ever I needed it.

I was also struck by the absence of any wish that I return home, they know just how toxic things have become between their mother and I, and I do believe they know that this was for the best.

Despite this, I know also that they are in a fragile state and are dealing with this in their own way; I am constantly reminding my youngest son that it is not his fault...his hugs are a little stronger and last a little longer than usual.

I am truly blessed with the most beautiful, well-mannered and kind children in the world. They are my greatest treasure...

 

Thanks BudderMC,

It took a lot of work and endurance to have kids, but on the whole, it was worth every minute; and I am now at the stage of seeing them become more and more autonomous; and becoming more themselves in the process.

...and what they are becoming is truly amazing!

 

Thanks again, friends for your kind words, my blessing extends to those of you who've taken an interest in what is going on with me at this "interesting" time in my life.

 

I so understand where you're coming from, it must be an awful feeling to somehow feel responsible for what happens to your parents. But it's not right, you can't beat yourself up for somehow failing to measure up to some impossible ideal in a situation that was not of your choosing.

I am worried about my 10 year-old, he can put on a brave face and not let anyone know how he's feeling, until something triggers an unexpected reaction. Both his mother and I are aware that he will need counseling, and soon. All I can repeat and repeat is that it's not his fault.

---------- Post added 5th May 2013 at 06:22 PM ----------

They had excellent parents in both their mother and myself (and I am certain she would disagree about my contribution...as we head to divorce court on the 14th of this month).

My older son loves to cook, and was even contemplating becoming a chef for a while.

Such is life!