I've just felt so, not even sure what the word is, I guess it's loneliness. I am very blessed with a supportive and loving group of friends and I rely on them for lots of encouragement. But I feel lonely in that I don't have a special someone to love. Its not even the getting lice in return. I mean, of course, i want that too. I just ache to take care of someone. I think, I know, I would be so good at loving someone. Forgive me for sounding horribly hokey, but I have all this love inside me that I want to pour out! I've never considered myself a romantic person. Which maybe makes sense now that I realize I'm gay. I guess it always seemed silly because it just wasn't for me. But now, I get it! I understand it. And I'm longing for it. Such a new and intense feeling. I suppose too it makes me sad because I know I need to work on me for awhile, maybe a long while, before I'm ready for a relationship. That's a good thing, but sad because it just seems like that end goal, that wish to have someone specia, is so so so far away.
Maybe you should have higher standards for a partner. Nah but seriously. I totally understand. Feel free to write me if you're lonely. We can be lonely together!
A good relationship is the end result. It's what results when you meet somebody you click with extremely well, and you start building the relationship into something wonderful and lasting. A lot of people tend to look ahead to the "end". They're so enamored of the idea of a "great loving relationship" that they don't do a good job on the vetting process. Great relationships aren't will-to-power. You really do have to click on a heavy level to make them work. But when it happens, it's indescribably awesome. Lex
Ohana- I understand. (I am writing on phone so hard to use quote from your post). I was taking to therapist about being an old fashioned romantic the other day. I have suppresed that for so long. Besides being totally uncoordinated think reason I don't dance is that I don't have the right partner (woman). That is one of the things I look most forward to doing. Post divorce is such a vulnerable time & would be easy to get into a unhealthy relationship out of that intense lonliness; to fill a void. Except for best friend long distance I don't have women friends. Starting to understand why. Part of it was being gay and best way to not deal with that is to not be around women. And since coming out I get totally tongue-tied sometimes talking to women. Not a teen so not sure the whole super shy thing will be an attractive trait for dating in 40's..... Hugs
