1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Finally Did It

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Stoical, May 7, 2013.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 1 of 2
  1. Stoical

    Stoical
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2013
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    RI
    Gender:
    Male
    After several hours of conversation (and several beers for added courage), I finally managed to blurt out to one of my close friends that I think I'm gay. Not much of a story, I know, but I've finally crossed that threshold and openly admitted my feelings to someone. It's a girl that I've been friends with since high school. I wasn't really able to open up too much about things, it was a struggle just to get the words I'm gay out, but she offered me her full support.

    So I guess that's it. I'm finally "out." I'd like to say that I'm feeling good, or relieved, but what I mostly feel tonight is "holy s*** I can't believe I said that!" :eek:

    Hopefully the anxiety levels will subside sometime before dawn so I can get some sleep tonight, haha. Guess there's no going back now. For better or worse, I'm finally going to have to start dealing with this issue. I know I'm doing the right thing, but hell if it isn't terrifying. Wish me luck, all! :slight_smile:
     
    #1 Stoical, May 7, 2013
  2. greatwhale

    greatwhale
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    413
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Totally awesome! Congratulations for taking that first big step!

    There's no looking back, only forward, don't regret; you are finally yourself to others!
     
    #2 greatwhale, May 7, 2013
  3. TJ

    TJ
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2011
    Messages:
    1,833
    Likes Received:
    299
    Location:
    Lawrence, KS
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Awmgawmgawmg!!!!!
    (*hug*) :thewave: (&&&)

    Uh-may-zing! Huge grats to you :grin:
    [​IMG]
     
    #3 TJ, May 7, 2013
  4. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    Yay!
     
    #4 Rose27, May 7, 2013
  5. skiff

    skiff Guest

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2013
    Messages:
    2,432
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Peabody, MA - USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Good for you.

    Be prepared to pendulum in and out of self doubt.

    You did the right thing the self doubt is natural with something like this.

    Huge hurtle leaped.
     
    #5 skiff, May 8, 2013
  6. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    What Skiff said-&
    I've found that scary doubting days are less the more steps I take & read others taking. They become part of a day. Not the whole day but hours but hours become less. I find writing things here at EC and reading responses helps. Less lonely and knowing others have experienced the same can change my day's outlook.
     
    #6 Rose27, May 8, 2013
  7. Stoical

    Stoical
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2013
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    RI
    Gender:
    Male
    Yeah, it does help knowing that others have had similar experiences. Thanks everyone. :slight_smile:
     
    #7 Stoical, May 8, 2013
  8. EddyG

    EddyG
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2013
    Messages:
    188
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NE USA
    Congrats!! You absolutely did the right thing, but you know that. Plus what Skiff said.
     
    #8 EddyG, May 8, 2013
  9. PeteNJ

    PeteNJ
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2012
    Messages:
    855
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    NJ
    Fantastic! It IS great that you said it out loud -- big step! Congratulations :thumbsup:
     
    #9 PeteNJ, May 8, 2013
  10. MixedNutz

    MixedNutz
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Messages:
    782
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    That's great! Congrats! The first one is always the hardest
     
    #10 MixedNutz, May 8, 2013
  11. SimpleMan

    SimpleMan
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2013
    Messages:
    414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Indianapolis
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Congrats Stoical! Glad they were so supportive! And I hope the sleep will be forthcoming! :slight_smile:
     
    #11 SimpleMan, May 8, 2013
  12. Stoical

    Stoical
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2013
    Messages:
    103
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    RI
    Gender:
    Male
    I appreciate the support from everyone! (&&&)

    I actually hung out with her again tonight. It was a public social event in mixed company, and there was no discussion about yesterday's revelation. Still, it was comforting to be able to hang out and pick up our old dynamic same as always. :slight_smile:
     
    #12 Stoical, May 8, 2013
  13. Ticklish Fish

    Ticklish Fish
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 23, 2012
    Messages:
    3,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Internet; H-town
    Congratulations!
     
    #13 Ticklish Fish, May 8, 2013
  14. Candace

    Candace
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,819
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southeastern U.S.
    Gender:
    Male
    Way to go! Now you know that you can do it for sure. Keep going :slight_smile:
     
    #14 Candace, May 8, 2013
  15. Jim1454

    Jim1454
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2007
    Messages:
    7,284
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Toronto
    I'm glad you've come out to your friend - and glad you've had a chance to see her again and that your relationship remained unchanged. That's the reality that most of us can't believe will be the case - that our existing relationships won't be affected in a material way, except that they'll be better because you'll be more authentic being yourself.
     
    #15 Jim1454, May 9, 2013
  16. jimL

    jimL
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 23, 2011
    Messages:
    606
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon, USA
    Congratulations!!! The first one is always tough, and now you got that out of the way. I hope they all go that well. Now it's time to hold your head high and move forward.
     
    #16 jimL, May 9, 2013
  17. LoveMusicPoetry

    LoveMusicPoetry
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2013
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Well done. Saying it out loud for the first time to someone is such a massive step. You might not feel the relief yet but saying once means that you know you can do it, and as you tell people it will become easier.

    As for thinking 'holy s***', I've been fully out for two months and I still think that.
     
    #17 LoveMusicPoetry, May 9, 2013
  18. FeministFemme97

    FeministFemme97 Guest

    Congratulations. You've achieved what a lot of people can only dream of. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:
     
    #18 FeministFemme97, May 9, 2013
  19. bingostring

    bingostring
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2008
    Messages:
    2,083
    Likes Received:
    113
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    its a small step ... yet a VERY big step!!
    congratulations!!!
     
    #19 bingostring, May 9, 2013
  20. Zoe

    Zoe
    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2013
    Messages:
    539
    Likes Received:
    104
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Congratulations to you! Having just told the first person I'm gay two days ago (and that my therapist), I know exactly where you are.

    I don't know you, but I'm proud of you and will take courage from your example.

    --Zoe
     
    #20 Zoe, May 23, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 1 of 2