I wrote the following as a reply to Cool Bananas, but discovered I needed more posts before I could post o his wall. (At least, I think that's what the message told me.) I deleted my account and withdrew for a week or so, CB. I wasn't backtracking on the fact that I'm gay—I have continued to come out to more and more people, including my brother—but I was unhappy with some things I said in a couple of posts. I felt they were simply self-indulgent. I suppose I could have asked a moderator if it was possible to delete specific post, but I was also feeling a bit alienated from some of the things I was hearing. I understand that people are having a hard time coping, but I felt that there was a certain amount of spouse-bashing that seemed unfair to me. I feel mostly sympathy for our straight wives and husbands, whose lives have been disrupted in ways they didn't see coming. But after a week away, I found I missed my friends here and wanted to re-engage with them, to talk and listen and support everyone. So here I am.
Thanks CB. The funny things is I just noticed that the self-indulgent posts were still up. I guess I'll have to ask a moderator after all.
Hi, We can get self indulgent and maybe the spouse bashing you refer to is just that. I imagine a lot of just need to held and understood and few spouses can do that due the nature of this. Lots of frustration, anger and depression involved. We all need to be patent with each other.
Hey Bill- I felt guilty about my rant the other day but realized I needed to say those things and the responses from others helped me see that Too. Fine bill- I'll admit I missed your voice. Whatever your choices here gay,strait,bi were all still EC friends.This is a place you can express yourself. Be open. Be raw. Be you. Rose
well, thanks for the warm welcome. I have truly missed you all. I totally get it that there are moments of extreme frustration that make us want to scream. Anger is as normal as any other emotion. And Rose, I know that your feelings are more complicated than a simple rant. I know it every time I read one of your posts, no matter how upset you are at the moment. I wasn't thinking of you when I made the comment about spouses. But I have read post by others on threads started by both you and Ohana that I have found unduly nasty. The one who said your husband just regarded you as a f*ck or that Ohana's husband just saw her as a maid. Those seemed outrageously unfair to me, and I felt that I didn't want to be around such negativity. Bingostring, thanks for the info. I'll contact a moderator. The big news in my life is that I came out to my older brother. When we were kids, I idolized him, and I think one of the things that screwed me up was wanting to emulate him so much. I think that part of the reason I insisted that I had to be straight was that I had to be just like him. I was waiting to tell him until I felt good and ready. But he called and he gave me an opening I couldn't resist. He said his new girlfriend told him that she thought she liked him because he was "so gay." (He had his arm around a gay friend.) I said, "well then. I guess she'd love me." He laughed and moved on, but I said, "Wait. Back up a second. I'm serious. I'm gay." He was great about the whole thing. As I said to a couple of friends, I had better damn well be gay now that I have told pretty much everybody I know.
