"Veteran" gays

I've been out for about 20yrs now, so I guess I probably qualify as one of the 'veteran gays' in question. I'm certainly happy to see you and offer whatever support I can :smilewave

That said, I guess I don't actually spend that much of my EC time in this section of the forum. Mostly because I'm not sure what advice or support I can actually offer that would be helpful. My coming out process was apparently rather unusual (based on everything I've read across EC) in that I just figured out I was gay, accepted it, and proceeded to come out to all and sundry with little or no fuss or drama.

Comparing my experience to that of many of the folks on EC, or to the amount of emotional stress that many of the folks here go through, I actually feel at a bit of a loss when it comes to offering support/information in the area of coming out (whether early, middle, or later in life). As such, I've tended to focus my attention on other areas of the forum where topics or issues periodically come up that I feel more competent to discuss or offer information on.

If there's anything I could possibly offer support or insight on, I'm more than happy to, just let me know what it might be.

Todd

 

I read something about some lesbians being grossed by women who were married/slept w/men. Seems cliquey like high school. Too complicated.

 

This is something I think about a lot because I know so many gay people. My closest gay friend has been supportive. But I said to him that I felt that I had been acting to my gay friends as though I were a super-tolerant heterosexual when in truth I was a closet homosexual.

I also spoke to a former colleague who came out when we were working together, many years ago, and he was supportive as well.

But I suspect that there might be some hostility toward people who waited until it was safe. I mean, I do think it's much easier to come out in 2013 than it was in 1973, when I tip-toed toward the closet door but closed it shut again. My hiding for so long bothers me, but what's done is done.

 

It wasn't irrational to remain closeted when it was unsafe. One could argue this two ways, either those who waited were cowards or, maybe their homosexuality could be more easily kept under control (a case of misapplied strength)...in any case, it has not been my experience to get that kind of hostility from the gay community, which in Montreal is very diverse.

 

Maybe they think of us as wannabes? Bored housewives? I caught my self checking out stewardesses legs on flight. No doubts here.
I don't play games- Too old to put up w/petty crap.

 

Wow, that stinks. Some people are just miserable though. I'm certainly no "veteran" at this, but I can't possibly believe that most would be that obnoxious...

 

That's cold & cruel. You don't want people like her in your life. Nope. I am happy with my EC friends where I get support & honesty. No BS here.

 

Not to take away from the G crowd but I as a bi have gotten labelled this a few times. Not on EC mind you...

It's like I am told that I am not playing in the big leagues. I am a phony...not a liar mind you...more like I am just playing as a bisexual male. So I have started to learn where on the web I can safely go...and where not to go

When I get a chance to talk to her, I am going to come out to my gay friend who has been most her life. We'll see how it goes

Foxface

 

I was closeted but in my late 20's took on an openly gay roommate. We had a dysfunctional relationship but we tried. He had a specific term for closeted gays. I cannot recall it but it was derogatory. He felt the closeted were cowards a lower form of gay. Lateral bigotry.

It did not last long.

He often made me wonder how closeted I really was. I took him to my brothers wedding reception. The right guy could have quickly ruined my flimsy closet.