Hi everyone, Just felt like posting something today. I'm not a big social person. I usually keep to myself with just a few friends. I never did quite fit in the straight world. Now I realize who I truly am and can accept that I'm a gay man. I wish I was straight or even bisexual so I could save my marriage. My wife told me she could handle me being bisexual as long as I had passion for her, but I don't feel that for her or women in general. That's not to say I didn't once feel that way for her, but I think I was fooling myself about my true nature and it couldn't last. So now we're talking divorce. We're in agreement for the most part on splitting assets. I'm fine with our son living with her, but I want to be an active parent and to maintain my rights and have a say in major decisions. My wife says she wants the same for me. I will ensure everything is in writing. I've started looking for a house. I've never owned my own place before. I want my son to have his own room for when he stays over and feel like it's his second home. I'll get a dog too. I've wanted one for years. I'm looking forward to meeting men and having sex. I worry about being over 50, but my counselor says I'll have opportunities. Also, I'd like to make new gay friends and others who will accept me as I am. I'm sad about losing my marriage. My wife is a wonderful woman and I was lucky to have her. But I know I'm doing the right thing for her and myself. Thanks for letting me share my thoughts.
eric1962; Thanks for sharing. I can totally relate to your post. Going through the same thing here as well. I'm in pain for your loss, but I am proud to be on this journey with you. We will get there, step by step and day by day.
Thanks for posting. It would sound hypocritical (to anyone who knows me) because I am obsessed with ruminating over a "lost past" and worrying about the future) ... but once you have been through the difficult upheaval ahead there will be time to address the past and how to look forward to the years ahead .. Which may be the best yet!!! You have a therapist to walk with you through this which is great. As well as us here too of course!!! Widening your social circle to include more gay men is also very helpful and will aid the healing process. X ---------- Post added 12th May 2013 at 10:16 AM ---------- By the 'best years yet' I mean - living authentically as a gay man - Maintaining good friendship with your wife - Keeping a solid relationship with your son How fab is that!!!! So much to look forward to!! (*hug*) X
Hi Eric, Hope things work out and your wife does what's best for your son. On the age thing, that was a worry of mine too but turns out there are a lot of really attractive gay guys our age out there. In a place like the Twin Cities you shouldn't have any problem! And yeah you are absolutely doing the right thing, you can feel that.
Hi Eric, I can only echo what everyone else has said above, you are not alone in this and you have people here to share experiences with. And yes, from personal experience, I can tell you that it gets way better!
Thanks for the kind replies, everyone. I've never felt until now that I could just let go and be comfortable in my own skin. It really helps to have EC for moral support.:icon_wink
