I have been wrestling with the idea of moving to a larger city. The small community I live in I believe will be tolerable and accepting, I am however concerned about my job. I am an educator, and I am not certain about the school board and town leadership. I am reading the "10 smart things" by Joe Kort and it has me very conflicted about my coming out process. As I have stated, I am currently separated after 25 plus years of marriage with three kids. My wife and a few close friends know, which realistically that means a lot more people know, or have at least heard rumors. It is hard enough starting over at 50, much less starting over in another city where I wouldn't know anyone, but then again, I feel that this might the perfect time to start over, while everything is in chaos! Loneliness is loneliness, but a part of me believes that being around the gay community in a large city would make it easier to make sense of the chaos. What if I move and then I am not accepted by the community? The rejection of my new family would be harder than the rejection of my old family. Am I being paranoid? Borrowing trouble? Has anyone else done this? :goodevil:
If it helps any, I was a teacher in the Oklahoma Panhandle and SW Kansas. I never felt like I could be myself down there and so never came out. I didn't feel like I would have any support. I, like you, am starting my future life at 50 (I came out when I was 49 - about six months ago). I moved to a bigger town about a year ago, ran into a few lesbians in December, and the rest is history. I honestly believe that if you are honest and your small town will be accepting of you, stick around. If you think it may cause problems (being an educator and all) it might be safer to move. I heard way too much homophobic talk from fellow teachers and administrators to feel safe. I wish you luck! It really does get better!
Honestly, I live in the NYC area and there are so many supports and ways of meeting other gay folk, anonymously if you want. If you were in the education system, as I am, in any part of the area you would be safe and protected as a gay person. My principal is a lesbian who is out; this is a middle school. I have to say that most of the kids here know. It's not an issue. What would stop me from moving if I were you would be my kids. I don't know how old they are, or how far you would move, but I would want to stay available for them. Sometimes, however, I think of getting away from everyone I know and going to Portland, Oregon and having a fresh start. Very tempting. Just to add, the women in the house next door to me are senior lesbians who have been together 36 years. They got married last year and the people on the block threw them a party. One of the women is on the village board. It's not an issue in good old NY, even in this suburban bedroom community I live in. Best of luck to you.
Hi, My situation... Children are young adults. I am moving back to my home state 600 miles away. I grew up there. All my friends are there. What is left of my business network contacts are there. I am starting over at 55, i need any edge i can find, if my sons need me I am a Skype away. I suspect at least one of my sons will follow in time. Not my first choice, but I gave up my career to be a stay at home dad.
