Hello everybody! Last few months I've been struggling about where my sexuality stands on, however it has been a few weeks I've come to accept it. Now the situation is I am a 20 yo guy, that has never been on a date or whatsoever, a bit self-conscious and shy. I grew up in a small little village on the countryside, veeeery religious, but ironically I turned an atheist (something my family can't hear about and just ignore the fact that I am). Needless to explain the opinion people have on homosexuality around here. The fact is I am in college now and despite what I thought, students are still very narrow-minded. When any issue related with homosexuality comes up, everyone will just laugh about it and talk of how hedeous it is and although my country allows same-sex marriage, and even co-adoption not while ago, the majority of population seems to look at gay people as second class citizens and usually put aside from the rest of the population. Given this, where should I turn and be honest about my feelings, with no institutions or supportive groups around and no people at all I can open up to? Bit of an advice would be very appreciated P.S. : Keep up the good work, this website has really helped me out through all this process
Oh hello, I've been reding so much things around here last few months I completely forgot to introduce myself
Its hard that in 2013 there are still places you still have to be on the defence ... but in spite of the phobic reaction people show towards all things gay I expect a lot are really tolerant if you were to get to know them... they are just being insensitive and thoughtless when they behave like that. So my first thought is have you taken the big step of getting to know an LGBT group at the college or any other 'out people' ??? These may sound like huge steps to take (if you haven't) but you really do need a network of "people who know" and support you .... otherwise it will be a very lonely experience .. then use EC as much as possible too? and congrats on the atheism by the way !!!
I just met a young man, little bit older than you, in a Coming Out Group, who had emigrated from Australia, from a small village. His parents are very religious and I guess he felt he needed to flee to NY. I know that may not be feasible for you but if your college is conservative minded, maybe you are near a city, even a smallish one, in which there is an LGBT network. It would really help you to find some young people who are gay. Also, I'm 56 and waited way too long to find myself. Congrats to you on starting this journey at an early age.
HI, maybe try confiding to your best friend? If you think He/She is tolerant about homosexuality. We are both in the same situation here; being in place where there is no group or institution to open up to. And EC helps me a lot.
i came out at 24, and part of the reason i was so closeted was that i had some friends in college who were girls who were like eeewww kissing girls gross. oh yea, and then the few LGBTQ friends i DID have were like, lesbophobic or biphobic and it was just not encouraging. you dont have to listen to the ignorant asshole masses, you have to find just ONE person to come out to. college is the best time to come out because there are anonymous lgbt groups on almost every campus. it'll give you a sense of privacy about your life in addition to support.
Not long ago, there was an event related to lgbt issues publicised at my college, but I know for a fact that really few people went and the whole experience was then photographed and shown to the whole community, I wouldn't want that kind of attention partly because of my shyness and because then everybody would just assume I was gay, assumptions that would force me to come out when I am not ready yet A coming out group, where privicy existed would be perfect, but doesn't seem to exist around here :/ "I just met a young man, little bit older than you, in a Coming Out Group, who had emigrated from Australia, from a small village. His parents are very religious and I guess he felt he needed to flee to NY. I know that may not be feasible for you but if your college is conservative minded, maybe you are near a city, even a smallish one, in which there is an LGBT network. It would really help you to find some young people who are gay. Also, I'm 56 and waited way too long to find myself. Congrats to you on starting this journey at an early age." That man seems to be in a similar situation indeed, thing is I am already living in one of the majors cities of my country and it's difficult either way to find people like myself. Thank you for the words of encouragement and good luck finding yourself, having in mind it is never too late to be what you really are "HI, maybe try confiding to your best friend? If you think He/She is tolerant about homosexuality. We are both in the same situation here; being in place where there is no group or institution to open up to. And EC helps me a lot." Well that is out of question, at least for now, everyone around me seems to be untolerant when it comes to homosexuality, because as I told you before, my country allows same-gender marriage and even co-adoption by now, but the mentality of the population is still very narrow-minded, there is a lot of prejudice, even at colleges, places supposed to be more open minded
