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Discrimination

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by skiff, May 23, 2013.

  1. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi,

    I just bit my tongue and need to get it off my chest...

    I am living with my brother after leaving my wife. I am in transition and out of work and my reliance kept me silent.

    My SIL told my brother that the priest could not bless the fleet this season due to scheduling issues. She then said that she would do the blessing and my brother said she couldn't. I then said she had s much authority as a priest to do a blessing. I indicated the church only was a focus of power and money and a person's relationship with God is unrelated to organized religion.

    I was then lectured that I was intolerant and discriminating against Catholics.

    I bit my tongue.

    One of the very institutions that drove me into the closet and ruined my life I am supposed to tolerant of. Same goes for Scouts and literally 1,000's of of other societal institutions that labels me as bad, evil, perverted, mentally ill for something I have no control over.

    It is like saying all red heads are freaks, bad, evil, perverted, and biologically compromised for an aspect of their birth they had no control over.

    It is bothering me I had to bite my tongue.

    I am supposed to thank people for hating me I guess.

    Frustrating.
     
    #1 skiff, May 23, 2013
    Last edited: May 23, 2013
  2. allnewtome

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    I do understand your frustration and anger towards the catholic church-both as someone who struggles with his sexuality and as someone who was a victim of childhood sexual assault.

    That being said-I'm not sure if you are out to your brother and his wife, or what their views are on homosexuality but I know a lot of religious people in real life and have read countless stories on here and other sites about people who are catholic and who believe the teachings of their religion but who are loving and supportive of their gay friends and family so in that regard while you disagree agree with the teachings of the church-all can not be painted with the same brush on that end either.

    I think you did the right think by biting your tongue-it seems like a "pick your battle" type situation to me and devout Catholics are as unlikely to change their views as you and I are.

    However if they are of the anti-gay variety of Catholics I'd bite my tongue while searching for work/an alternate living situation and then get the hell out of their as soon as possible.
     
  3. Rose27

    Rose27 Guest

    Its been a WTF kind of day here too. Forced to suck it up in silence for long term good. My head will do a "Lynda Blair" full 360 swivel and roll off my neck if inlaws move in with husband in house. Super Republican Catholics.
     
  4. EddyG

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    recovering catholic here... yeah the overall Church has very messed up priorities. But some Catholics can be decent people. My parents are very devout, church every sunday etc. But they had no problem when I came out to them recently -- their only concern was for my wife and kids. My dad even later said to my mom something like, I guess some people are just born that way; and my mom asked me about any guys I'm interested in. So the point I guess is that despite what the Church says lots of Catholics ignore it.

    But that said, I'm with you on the immense damage the Church and other institutions have done, not only to those of us who are gay, but to all the people to whom we have had to lie when we were in the closet. If you're out to brother and wife, you might point this out to them...
     
  5. allnewtome

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    I agree completely on the damage done by the church and other institutions-I can just be sensitive to the fact that not all members of said institutions carry the weight of those damages.

    Religion much like politics in my experience are conversational topics that hardly ever remain rational or change opinions/thoughts. Perhaps it's cowardly of me to say at times it's best to bite ones tongue instead of engaging in a discussion that's almost sure to get heated and cause hurt feeling on both sides?

    I tend to believe if ones respectful of me and my life regardless of differing views I try to do my best to show the same or just leave the subject alone, which is at times much much easier said then done.
     
  6. biAnnika

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    Since when is not (or no longer?) being a Catholic equivalent to disciminating against them?

    Their new position is "if you don't join us, you must want to beat us"? I'd say they are approximately 5 years late for that kind of thinking. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  7. arturoenrico

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    Hey Skiff,

    Pardon my language, but that message is "mind fucking". If you stand up for tolerance, acceptance of others, equal rights you are discriminating against Catholics? It makes no sense but that kind of thinking can drive someone nuts. I would let it be and as allnewtome said, get the hell out of there when you can.
     
  8. skiff

    skiff Guest

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    Hi

    Allnewtome... My brother knows I am gay. He lectured me that somebody in my position (gay) should be more tolerant. Sure, the person being lynched should be polite to their attacker.

    He says he is Catholic but like many it is in name only. People just have to belong to groups to have self worth I guess, even if they are part of the group in name only.

    I was raised Catholic but it died for me in my teens. It appeared to me like a mechanical mouse that has to be wound but dies with the unwound spring.

    I believe in God, it is organized religion I have no faith in.
     
  9. I definitely understand where you're coming from, being Catholic myself, the Catholic Church was part of the reason why I had trouble coming out, because I thought by doing so I would be opening up myself to a life of sin and I'd be damning all who supported me.

    That being said I know better now but I still don't think you're an "anti-Catholic bigot." But at the same time, even though, you don't feel you need to be part an organized religion to find God, your sister has found God in her religion. Just like some people find God in Judaism or in Islam. I'm just saying it's important to remember that she's entitled to what she believes.

    Let me know if I'm not making sense though. :/
     
  10. EddyG

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    That is really obscene!