FWB question...

I wonder about the same thing. As I have explained elsewhere, I hope to remain married to my wife, who has indicated that she's okay with my "dating" men. But she stated very clearly that she would not be part of a triangle, and I agree with her. So if I don't want to do "hook-ups" and I can't really get into a serious relationship, I'm not sure there's any viable option other than FWB. If I could meet other married men, whether in or out of the closet, that might offer a viable way to go. I'm wondering if I could organize a Meet Up group for gay married men.

I'm not sure how different the situation is for middle-aged hetero couples. There are people in the world who for whatever reason don't want to get into a serious relationship. They have kids, or the divorce isn't final.

 

I am guessing few would join the MeetUp group out of concern for discretion. Most gay married men I know are not out to their spouses or others.

I have an ongoing relationship with five guys that I consider FWBs. We get together to have sex and some chit chat and then we're on our way until next time. Just to be clear - this is not a group thing; I have individual FWB relationships with five different guys that don't know one another. Two guys don't want a serious relationship, two guys are in committed LTR with men and have no intention of leaving those relationships, and one guy is married with a daughter and has no intention of leaving. I think as long as you define your relationship up front and keep the communication open, it can be done without anyone getting hurt. I am 46, married to a woman, no kids, and my wife knows I date men. Hope that helps.

 

I have always been very sceptical of FWB, however, over the last few months I have had very good experience with one.

I think it is important to be mutually respectful, and to both be absolutely clear about what you want. Our 'relationship' works very well. We meet up, we have passionate yet affectionate sex, and we both enjoy a nice cuddle session afterwards. He has a partner, I don't.

I have a bad track record in the past of almost instantly falling for guys who show any interest in me and fantasising the rest of our lives together. That hasn't happened with him. I enjoy his company, and care about him a great deal ( and he makes me feel amazing in bed) but that's it.

I guess the biggest danger is if the nature of things changes and one FWB develops an attachment which is not reciprocated.

As with most things, everyone's experience will be different, but I have to say I am very happy with our current arrangement.

 

Hi Folks

I am new to all of this, although I am out to myself and as of 2 months ago my wife who has been very understanding and given me permission to play but not get into a relationship, I have not yet taken the first steps.

I think I would prefer FWB rather than NSA. I am imagining with FWB it would be normal to at least spend several hours with a guy, whereas with NSA I imagine turning up on someone’s doorstep, being invited in and getting straight down to sex and leaving immediately afterwards without saying much or stopping for a drink.

Perhaps someone more knowledgeable could explain the differences.

Sale Gay Guy

 

before I came out a few months ago I did have a FWB relationship with someone who is not anyone I'd be emotionally involved in, he's a very nice guy, I've known him a long time, the sex is good but there's no chance I'd "fall" for him. He btw is gay, out and married to a guy.

And in the past I had another FWB relationship, same deal but married to a woman. So yes it's possible, especially if you are not out to your wife and don't want to become emotionally involved, it's the way to go. Of course how to prevent the emotional involvement is tough, for me because this guy happens to be who he is it's not even a possibility for me, and given that he's committed to his husband, for him either.

Finally for me I have to know the guy first, be sure he's a nice guy that I can get along with; the benefits come after that.

 

Consenting adults, upfront and honest, no one getting hurt on purpose - I guess it's up to each person to decide if it works for him or her. It might be a bad idea for some people who get pulled into such a relationship and then get hurt. It might fuck up valuable friendship as well. All adult decisions, no one should judge.

 

I found myself in a FWB situation. Someone I met in my Coming Out group, he and I became very close friends. Similar journeys, a lot a like, similarities with kids, etc. too. We talk for hours. We support each other, we're sounding boards for each other. We laugh and have fun together.

Once we had started having sex, seems like neither of us wants to stop getting together, usually a couple times a week. While at the same time, hooking up with others, too, though he far more than me.

He's a great buddy, friend, lover. Like me, recently out, and not quite ready to settle down. Though in that regard, I really have moved towards dating.... Which could easily torpedo the "B" part. If I fell in love, I *think* I'd like to try monogamy...

 

Had an FWB situation back in college. I was in college, he was a bit older and out of school. Met via a personals ad and would get together on weekends. Sometimes we'd go out, sometimes just watch a movie at his place. I'd stay the night.

He was very clear that he had no interest in a relationship and was seeing other people as well and I was fine with that. Which was somewhat unusual for me given that before that I'd had a strong tendency to want to 'pick out china patterns' with most of the guys I'd met up to that point. Having what was wanted and what the goal was so clearly laid out was...refreshing.

Todd

 

I am a bit lost on this topic. I am hard wired for monogamy.

 

I probably couldn't do a FWB; I'm way too possessive, jealous and dependent.

 

I had a great FWB / gay yoda when I was first dealing with my sexually. We would get together regularly as schedules permitted - have sex/ talk/ have a drink or two- great guy. He happened to be a shrink so maybe that helped! Lol
Still run into him and his husband at local events etc - nothing sexual anymore since I got with my partner a few years back.
But yes, it's possible - and helpful if you find the right one.