I have a friend I chat with, he recently mentioned that while driving in his car, he said "I am gay" out loud for the first time. Said it helped him accept it. I told him he was not alone, that I had done the same thing when I was his age (38), I asked if he also checked to make sure his phone was not on somehow, and he laughed and said Yes he had checked it, before he said that out loud to himself. For me and him it was a positive thing, some audio sensory thing maybe, Just wondering if anyone else has done this? Something about actually hearing it. I know I wrote it down many many times, before I said it out loud. I know it helped me. Lakota
I had trouble just typing the word "gay" in the computer at first. Then later saying it out loud did help. I tested it out by saying it to the mirror...and you know what, it didn't break. Would have explained all my bad luck though.
The first time I said the words out loud was on the phone to the Samaritans... not so good, I fell apart. But first time I said them to a person was a really close friend. I made her pull the car over for a moment and just said it. She already knew, but I'd never said it, only written. Was amazing.
I've been repeating it over and over and over again. In the mirror, in the car on the way to work,...anytime I was alone. Just to help me come to terms with it. It's really a trip at first so saying it out loud helped set in the reality of it. After a while I started laughing then crying. Kinda broke down. But yeah it helped
I don't know about you, but I found that saying that I was "Yag, reversed" helped me say to myself and others that I was gay. I still sing "Yaggedy Yag Yag, Yag Yag" to myself often.
I spent a couple of weeks looking in the mirror first thing in the morning and saying "I'm a lesbian." I had to whisper it at first, but it stopped being scary and started being an exciting, empowering thing. I still do it a lot. It helps SO MUCH.
I found that saying it out loud really helped a lot. I've gotten to the point now where I can say it without so much as thinking about it. I halfway thought on the subway today when someone was saying "out, out, out" (they were looking to get off the train, and plenty of people were blocking her way) saying "are you asking me if I'm out? Because I'm as gay as it gets" Decided that might not have been the best decision, but would have been a great beginning to pride month
Yes--I did this same thing. Like Femmeme, I looked in the mirror and said it to myself. It was tough, but it was even tougher to write it for the first time in my journal. But it really helped me hear myself say it. --Zoe
Saying "I am gay!" out loud (well not too loud, as I was not alone) very early that morning after a sleepless night was the clincher. It sealed the deal. In the beginning, saying it was always followed by a weird feeling in my belly...that has diminished now to almost never. It's as if I felt viscerally the full weight and significance of those three tiny words.
I fist said it out loud to myself in a car. Years ago. I didn't convince myself at the time. In recent months I have said it to myself in the mirror, and then though, "Gee, I don't LOOK gay!" Now I say it to myself almost first thing in the morning. Not out loud. I don't need to say it out loud so much anymore. Coming out to others pretty much took care of that.
:icon_bigg I blurted it out to friends that I was "bi" (which I am not BTW) then was able to come out as lesbian to them, my family, and most of my friends (and facebook - LOL) within a few weeks. My god what freedom it gives you! I was a true homophobe but they say some of the most homophobic are the most homo. Heehee, true in my case!
Thank you for this tread. It's given me some inner peace that I've desperately been looking for today
I`m so used to saying it in my head, and typing it that I don`t really think about saying it out loud. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did say it out loud, which is a bit surprising. I do struggle with small things, so I would probably feel uncomfortable the first few times saying it. I can say "I like men" without hesitation, which is the same thing basically! I guess it`s time to practice!
I usually suggest people who have trouble with their sexuality say it to their mirror every morning. "I'm gay." Say it until it sounds less like a confession and more like a statement of fact. Then you'll be ready to start telling others. Lex
Saying it to someone else the first time is a huge big deal. In my coming out group, the first couple times, I couldn't say it. When our group starts, we go around the table, introduce outselves, etc. so. Hi, Im Pete, Im gay, my high point was..., my liw point was.., my topic is. I skipped the "I'm gay". (Or bi or questioning or trans) every time. ) After a couple sessions, a much younger guy in the group interrupted me and asked, so are you gay? And I answered, yes, I'm definitely gay, no question about it. And that's the first time I said I'm gay out loud to anyone other than my shrink. Now- either it's obvious (ha!) or I really have no problem saying it. After all, it's who I am!
