Why the spectacle?

Interesting that you should say something like that because my straight son sees the same thing and wonders why "ordinary folks who are gay" aren't the representation for the gay community.
Maybe it's that we look like everyday people? However, hoisting a gay pride flag by "any normal looking person" (who happens to be gay) might not shock the world. We don't need to shock the world do we? No! We need to be who we are as LGBTQ and function in our world successfully and with passion and show the world that we are the same as them (and perhaps better - LOL).

:eusa_danc

 

Given that straights routinely engage in spectacle of various sorts around either their sexuality or the role their sexuality plays in the culture, I fail to see why LGBT people shouldn't be free to do the same, especially when having a party. Straight whining about spectacle is simply a massive exercise in hypocrisy.

Pride is our party and we should be free to play as we want to. And any straights who have a problem with it are the kind who dislike us anyway. I refuse to live my life for the sake of other people's emotional complacency.

Todd

 

So it's a fight for equal rights...as long as you're "normal"? As long as you're quiet and "straight-acting" and don't cause a scene?

A little history. The drag queens EARNED the right to hoist that flag. It was the drag queens that kicked off the gay rights movement back in Stonewall. It's the drag queens and effeminate men who have born the brunt of the homophobia from straights (and gays) alike for decades. And it was they who responded to that homophobia with a great big colorful "fuck that" called the gay pride parade. To tell the world they refused to be anything but what they were, and anything but what they wanted to be. The whole reason you have what rights you do is in large part becuase of the work of drag queens. You"re standing on the shoulder pads of giants here.

And now you'd like them to kindly tone it down a little (or a lot). You'd like them to take the sparkly dresses off and go put on a suit so the uptight straight folks won't look at you funny. In fact, you're all but claiming it's now "your" parade and they should "go get their own".

Let's go back to the original meaning of these parades.

Fuck that.

The pride symbol is the rainbow. That's not an accident. It suggests that we're all colors. From quiet to loud, from flamboyant to conservative. We're all gay, and we're all welcome. And this isn't a "we're gay if that's all right with you" parade. This isn't a "we promise not to say or do anything to upset you" parade. It's a pride parade. Pride, as in "this is who we are, and we refuse to be ashamed of it". And that's why the parade has all types in it. Drag queens and businessmen. Young guys in colorful bathing suits and older guys in leather clothes. Young lesbians in bikinis and older ones on motorcycles. Businesses, churches, companies, volunteer groups, everybody. We're all queer. We're all the colors of the rainbow. And we're all supposed to be welcome.

You don't have to love drag queens, or date one, or put on a dress. But you do have to respect tyem for what they are, and what they do. I know a few, and they're some of the nicest and hardest-working people I know. They accept me in my sports jerseys and jeans, and so the least I could do is respect them in all their finery.

Lex

 

I was just talking to a male friend who came out when we were in college. He said where he is the parade was led my marriage equality group & drag queens were on floats advertising the clubs they work at. It was mix of "average folks" just livin' their lives.

 

So may I ask, what are you doing to assist with the festivities this month?

This goes back to what lex said. In my experience, the reason the social non-conforming folk are the visible leaders of the LGBT community, is because they are the only ones there. The more "normal" folk, tend to just sit on the sidelines as it is easier for them to blend into everyday society. So if you want pride to have more "normal" folk, go get involved.

As a "straight-acting" gay guy, I like the big 'ol fuck you that drag queens and kings give to our hetro-sexist culture. So raise that flag sister.

 

Sounds like a fine idea to me. Don't know if Pride events are themed, but something like "we're all in this together" seems like a good one. So get involved with your local pride event and suggest it.

That said, an argument can be made for drag queens dipping the raising based on historical grounds. But some sort of group event seems doable somewhere.

Todd

 

My first thought was yea, why not have an average person raise the flag, but then I thought of Stonewall and realized a drag queen is fitting. Then I saw Lex's post and I think there's a lot of truth to it. A group of people raising the flag together is a great idea. The parade and festivals will have the full range of GLBT people. The media used to focus on the less average folks, but seems like last year they showed a good sampling of our diversity. Even though most GLBT people are average and blend in, including me, I feel I owe a lot to the outspoken drag queens and others who had the courage to come out, get arrested yet refused to give up. ride:

 

A multitude of people, each dressed in a different color, raising a large flag sounds like a good idea to me.

 

Hey Skiff,
I've been part of committees in various (non gay) matters. It can be ridiculously hard to reach consensus on procedure. If you're not involved with this Pride group, get involved and share your voice. I organized and ran a committee in my school once to initiate a new program and I was deluged with various stakeholders' opinions, helpful and non-helpful. The loudest voices, with the largest representation, hold sway. That's why liberals always need to get out and vote in the US; conservatives are good at getting their people to vote.

 

I'm sorry, but you very much said "to hell with drag queens".

Your complaint was very specific. It was that a drag queen shouldn't get to do this ceremonial act because "they're a spectacle" and they "drive negative stereotypes into the minds of heterosexuals".

Why shouldn't they perform this act? It's a symbolic performance, and it makes sense to have a performer do it. In the past, Denver's pride has had drag queens handle such things, but also well-known singers, actors and politicians. No, I don't recall some random business guy (say) doing it, but again, I think it's something of a spectacle anyway. I certainly wouldn't have any trouble with one doing so, or with a group of people. But then again, I don't think that's the main issue here.

I see some drag queens doing gay-themed events, charity fundraisers, and the like all year long. I think they've earned every right to take center stage at Gay Pride, along with everyone else who does so.

Let's try something else. Say a lesbian raised the flag. Just a lesbian. Would you still feel "excluded"? Or say just a "regular (re: straight-acting) homosexual man" raised the flag. Would you feel the lesbians and drag queens should feel excluded from that act?

Lex

 

Yes you're angry. That doesn't get us anywhere. Can you imagine how much flak she gets from people already? It takes a lot to stand up in front of a crowd and know that you're going to be judged and made fun of for your appearance. You know what would be great? Instead of people sitting back and being angry about it, stand up there with her and hold her up as she raises the flag. Form a coalition of people to stand by her while she raises it. Be the LGBT Community, and be accepting of the people around you. Being transgender is very, very hard and we get enough from "normal" people as is. The LGB community is where we turn to for support, and it's things like this that show a lack of it. I support the LGB community fully. It's hard to deal with a member of that community telling the 'T' to get their own "drag month" (that was actually pretty offensive I won't lie). We're supposed to be together working for civil rights for EVERYONE. Not just "normal" LGBT people.

 

Who's being bigoted here? We agree with you in the fact that there should be a coalition of people that raise the flag and that equality should be the main focus, but you shouldn't be upset because a drag queen raised the flag. It's perfectly okay that she raised it.

 

This isn't discrimination against you within the gay community. It is the society at large that is the problem. You are feeling misrepresented and emasculated because you are not flamboyant or effeminate and these things are given a lower status in society. To be like a woman lowers your status. This is a gender issue. If women-identified or more feminine people were seen with the same amount of respect as "straight acting" men then we wouldn't be having this conversation.

The media focuses on the parts of pride parades that are more "out of the norm" BECAUSE they are "out of the norm." It catches more attention for the story. Deviance is more "interesting." And deviance is the reason why we have it much easier today. They have pushed the boundaries. I really respect those that can take on the binary so fearlessly. That's revolutionary. They are on the front lines. I understand that its not you. But they have the right to express themselves too. Everyone is just trying to be themselves. We all fight bigotry in our own way and challenge notions of "normal" differently just by being ourselves. Whether its people like you who are gender conforming and straight-acting or those who are not.

Instead of asking an oppressed group to stop being "freaks" why not challenge society to understand that "freaks" are people just like you. And until society accepts ALL of us, they accept NO ONE. Because no one is "normal." There is no such thing.

 

I like this idea. I also like Bobbybobby's embellishment of having everyone wearing a different color. And equality is never too much to ask or to strive toward.

I think the difficulty, as always, is in the details. If there was one gay man, one lesbian, one bisexual, and one transgender person raising the flag, there would still be outrage. Those four individuals would each look a certain way. If the gay man was a bear or very effeminate, then "normal looking and acting" guys like you might still be upset. If the lesbian was very butch, other sectors of the lesbian community would be upset. I am certain that some passable transwomen/men, genderqueer individuals, or discreet cross-dressers were upset by the fact that a flamboyant drag queen was selected to represent the entire T of LBGT, even though the T was selected to represent the entire LGBT. And as usual, bisexuals don't even have an iconic image that would be identifiable to the public (what does the stereotypical or cliche bisexual look like?).

But only so many people can have a hand on the flag at once. So I'm guessing the choice was made to have a single individual do it. The specific choice of a drag queen may well have been a combination of paying homage to Stonewall as well as extending a hand to a group that tends to be a minority within the T minority within the LGBT minority...thus representing the concept of minority in general.

I agree with those who say "get involved, if this bothers you...be involved in those discussions to add your voice" ...but also to hear the voices of others, and understand better why the choices that are made are made.