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On Fear & Silence ... Breadcrumbs on the Trail

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by aliveandwell, Jun 7, 2013.

  1. aliveandwell

    aliveandwell Guest

    The poet-activist, Audre Lorde has been a guiding force for me over recent years, helping me find my strongest path through the jungle of cancer, and life in general. She's deepened my perspective on silence. Yes, there's a place for it at times [timing is everything], but as a lifestyle it can be a destructive poison.

    In “The Cancer Journals”, Audre Lorde writes:

    "I am learning to live beyond fear by living through it, and in the process learning to turn fury at my own limitations into some more creative energy. I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write, speak, be, I'll be sending messages on a ouija board, cryptic complaints from the other side. When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less important whether or not I am unafraid."

    “I was going to die, if not sooner then later, whether or not I had ever spoken myself. My silence had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.”
     
  2. Zoe

    Zoe
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    Thanks for posting this. I love this quotation.

    --Zoe
     
  3. Gaysibling

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    Thanks so much for posting this.

    Like many posters here ( and like many people in general, whether LGBTQ or straight) I often let myself get caught up in 'death by indecision'. While being utterly reckless is usually destructive it is easy to overlook that the refusal to take any risks or chances can be equally destructive. Stagnation is a form of death in itself. Sometimes I need to remind myself that it is important to actually live my life while I have the chance to do so.
     
  4. aliveandwell

    aliveandwell Guest

    D'you know of Audre Lorde, Zoe? I discovered her the day one of her books basically jumped off a shelf and hit me on the head -- the day after having had a dream that I was an african-american lesbian poet-activist -- feeling all the "outsiderness" that all those categories could bring! I try to pay attention to such things as books jumping off of shelves - and dreams that land me in a body I don't recognize! heh. Check her out. I guarantee you'll only be enriched by this powerful role model. You'll only feel stronger by her example. Her words are good medicine for the spirit.

    ---------- Post added 7th Jun 2013 at 04:25 PM ----------

    just saw your post gaysib - what you say - I think is pretty standard. My circumstances have taken me out of the "standard" world - kinda like having the focus sharpened on the lens. There's an up side to that. Clarity. A sense of "if not now, when?" Yep, I agree, not making a choice, remaining stagnant, is still making a decision. And a fair one to make. The choice is always in an individual's hands - and mind. That's the leverage point - right now, today - here -- not tomorrow. Fuck tomorrow till be better. Make it so now. Even one notch makes it one notch better. Each of us lifting our own corner of the world up.
     
  5. Zoe

    Zoe
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    Thanks, Live and Well--

    What a powerful experience. Thanks for the note. I have heard of her, but that's about as far as it goes. I will definitely check her out. In fact, after reading your first post, I jotted her name down.

    --Zoe
     
  6. greatwhale

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    A beautiful and rare thread, aliveandwell!

    Henry David Thoreau decided, after having enough of the hypocrisies of village life in Concord, Mass., to live in the woods by himself for a couple of years...

    Here's what he had to say about living:

    I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

    "To front the essential facts of life"...to get rid of all the bullshit that clouds our vision and keeps us from understanding ourselves and learning what life is all about. Silence will not protect one's self, and it will definitely not help anyone else. It's a kind of complicity...to maintain the status quo, no matter how miserable.

    So: to carry on without silence, only Walt Whitman will do:

    "I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable, I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world."
     
  7. aliveandwell

    aliveandwell Guest

    Nice Thoreau quote, Greatwhale - and a nice Greatwhale quote, also:
    "to get rid of all the bullshit that clouds our vision and keeps us from understanding ourselves and learning what life is all about. " That's what I've been attempting to do over the past number of years. Get clearer, weave the loose threads in, sort my priorities, ask myself: "what does my well-lived life look like?"

    ....and Uncle Walt! Always love to hear Uncle Walt and be reminded of my own untamed parts, wild and free - to not stifle my own "barbaric YAWP over the roofs...." Yep, I [we] contain multitudes." I'm trying to find acceptance for all of them these days - and not fret over any of them. They're all me - and I find I like all of me more and more. It's never to late to offer acceptance to ourselves.

    thanks for the reminding, GW ~
     
  8. biggayguy

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    I can't remember who said this: "Bravery is acting; even though you're scared out of your wits."
     
  9. aliveandwell

    aliveandwell Guest

    BigGuy - Reminds me of a young woman I heard the other day - a musician with Turret's Syndrome [sp?]. She was asked about being afraid on stage and she responded, "You can't be afraid of being afraid." That one's stuck with me this past week. I've had opportunity to put that in practice every day this past week.
     
  10. aliveandwell

    aliveandwell Guest

    “I was going to die, if not sooner then later, whether or not I had ever spoken myself. My silence had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.” Audre Lorde

    No silence here. AFter having received a private message about cancer and giving me advice, I had to tell that person to "stick to what they know." It concerns me that someone would think they can step into a stranger's life and tell them what they should do, particularly in life and death matters. That's some ballz!

    People like to be experts - especially in these kind of anonymous formats. I'm most concerned for the young people here - this is a very tricky balancing act - young people who might be advised by someone who seems to have some authority -- who hasn't earned the right to have authority There's no way to protect others - so it becomes "Buyer Beware" i.e. -- BE YOUR OWN AUTHORITY! Listen to your own inner voice over some dude you've never met who acts like he's got it all together and KNOWS something.

    Be cautious. Question. Question. Question. And don't be afraid to challenge the source or to enlist the help of a moderator if necessary. People in general have lousy boundaries - especially in the privacy of autonomy on the internet!
     
  11. Lilly storm

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    So true!