Hi, What is the deal with dating? Make dates and the guys cancel or don't show up. I'd say I was a jerk and thats why but they don't know me well enough for that. Even the Meetup groups they RSVP to attend the group event and few show. These are adults +435 not children. How does the community work or doesn't it?
It's not just you. I'm quite the faghag and many of my gay boys have guy problems like this. Gay men seem to be really awful when they break up too. That assumes they ever get to the first date :icon_wink Lesbians are equally quirky, but in different ways. Last date I was on involved me riding a motorcycle 75 miles one way to meet someone I had already met once in a casual, non-date setting and had been flirting with for months. Flirting she started and perpetuated. She had been begging me to come out and spend a day with her. I get there and she ends up introducing me to her "ex" who lives a few doors down in this apartment complex and they spend most of the afternoon kissing, hugging and telling each other I love you, while insisting they were really only just friends. Why I put up with that at all I have no clue, but I finally left when they started whispering to each other and excused themselves to go outside and "talk". She still asks me when I'm going to come back out and see her :bang: :rolle:
So far the "open" gays don't show, while the married closeted gays show but only want hookups. I only met the married guys as they talked as if they were ending their marriages. Lies. Not a good start at all.
No idea since I've not had a date in my life gay, or otherwise. And now, thanks to what I read above, I'm wondering if I'll ever bother trying to date. On one level, I guess one could say that if someone cancels (without a good reason, that is), or plain doesn't show up, one could write that person off for good, and say it's better that it happened with minimal loss of time and energy. Although, emotionally, that is harder to accept than it is intellectually. One issue is probably just our society. A lot of people frankly only care about themselves and their convenience. ---------- Post added 7th Jun 2013 at 12:00 PM ---------- This is pretty typical, I'd guess. How many straight women have had an affair with a man that's lasted years, and kept hearing the same lie about how the man will soon leave his family again and again and again?
Well for guys like me who do show up it is a pain. Not only the jerks who cancel but the good guys who stop trying because of the jerks who wore them down. I could go to this Pride pizza party alone but being 55 I will be the odd man out with the 20 something's. Lots of pride. Sorry, I shouldn't say that but it is frustrating. ---------- Post added 7th Jun 2013 at 11:13 AM ---------- A guy asks YOU out and on the day of tells you he ain't showing. Pitiful. Thank God I have never done that!
Not sure what part of Ontario you're from but Toronto has a huge gay community. All I can say is keep trying and don't settle for something you really don't want. Trust me you'll regret it. ---------- Post added 7th Jun 2013 at 04:22 PM ---------- Really I hate to say it but that's pretty common. I hear this complaint from my gay boys lots. *hug*
Just updated location. I am near Boston, MA now. But I am far too practical at 55 to drive into the city, drink and drive home. Any gay venues that don't revolve on booze?
Skiff, I can't speak to what's going on with your dates, but I do know from my experiences with Meet-ups that no matter what the topic/purpose, lots of people RSVP and then don't show. Zoe
Aw Skiffy I'm feeling your pain, these guys are jerks. and yeah avoid the married guys... You deserve so much better!
