Hi, I have been thinking about age and maturity. I lived a closeted life. I could "act" straight and "pass" for straight but it was an act, a farce a charade Lately I have been having similar thoughts about maturity. I know the mature action, being sure you are doing the adult thing. However it fits as poorly as the straight mask I wore. What is maturity in the gay world? Is it the same as maturity in the straight world? Many of us are so creative, so innovative, so empathetic, so caring are we wired for a "different" maturity, and to meet the hetero definition of "mature" another closet? Like I said... I have been thinking. This mask of maurity doesn't fit, it ain't mine. Anybody else feeling it it don't fit? It ain't natural? Tom
I believe there are certain signs of "maturity" that I think definitely should be followed. I'm talking the really basic, don't-push-down-the-other-kids-on-the-playground sorts of ones. The sorts of things where, if an adult does it, he's considered more an asshole than immature. When I tell somebody to "grow up", it's in reference to that sort of thing. Other than that? Well, I've got a five action figures on top of my work computer, a cartoon character on my T-shirt, and another as my avatar, so... And I don't think anybody considers me "immature", at least in a derogatory sort of way. I do my creative stuff, people seem to appreciate it, that's it. Lex
I totally understand. Once I became a mother, there were a lot of things I stopped doing because I'm not "supposed" to, but it is silly. I was mostly worried about clothes or my hair. It is dumb. I am going to be me and if people don't like it, well they don't have to. Move along.
"act as if:" you're happy, young, sad, straight, gay Those of us who've lived in the closet can do any of these par excellence! So how you "act" everyday -- if its what makes you happy, really deep down happy, not "what will everyone else think" happy -- live that way. That's powerful!
Hi, An example is I would prefer to sing this than flatly say the two words; Buckle Up for Safety - YouTube All the PSA jingles of the 60's still flow in my head and I will still sing them when appropriate. Not mature but fun. I think my sons buckled up just not to hear the song. Though I just sang it to my sister in-law along with "Your Very Good Friend The Heart Association" to prove I could. Me watch too much TV as a child... Nah!
I should have thought of this a few hours ago. I really wanted to dance with the other adults in the kid Zumba class I took my son to. I should have just danced.
I'll admit I'm a big 'ol kid. You should see my nerf gun collection. And yes I play with them. If you don't grow up by 30, you don't have to.
Don't know that one, skiff, but I still speak/sing "when my ten gallon hat is feeling five gallons flat, I hanker for a hunk of cheese." To pick one of many examples. [youtube]4xRv9ZQOCPo[/youtube] Lex
To me, maturity really has more to do with how you do things than with what you do. It's about thinking through the effects of what you say and do, and accepting those effects if and when they happen. It's also about being able to see where the difference lies between fantasy and reality. However, that doesn't mean you have to be all serious about things. I have no qualms to spend an evening playing video games and discussing how to take over the world with my friends. I'm not even sure if it's a hetero thing to be "all serious, all the time". Certainly my hetero friends aren't all like that. In fact, only a minority of them are remotely serious people... So while there might be a stereotype, I'm not convinced it is a rigid gay/straight thing.
Hi, I grew up under the straight serious view of maturity and married a serious, farmer's daughter pragmatist, and for me I can do it, but it isn't 't me. Part of the "closeted act" I put on for years... IDK Throughout my life I was always more of a fun loving guy when in a gay relationship. During those periods "wild and crazy" were easy and never easy during the straight act.
interesting, I 've been accused by my wife of "acting like a teenager" because I want to go out with friends a few times a week to socialize at gay events... I think it's more like acting like a social single person. I think what you are talking about Tom is basically society trying to stifle individualism and creativity through social norms of "acting like a grown up". Best to ignore that and as long as we act responsibly and respectfully towards others, I'm not sure why anything else would matter -- singing, going out, whatever.
