My boyfriend has asked me to go see a therapist because he is worried about me. Our relationship has been lacking intimacy, I've been hopeless lately, and I have been pulling away. In fact, he gave me an ultimatum last night that he would break up with me if I did not seek counseling. I was able to sort of sweet talk my way out of it because I subconsciously want this relationship to stay the way it is so I can avoid my problems. I've promised him before that I would make it happen but I still haven't taken care of it. I know I really should take his advice but I'm so afraid to step out of my comfort zone. Have any of you had counseling from an lgbt therapist? Here are my reasons for being so afraid: 1) I'm worried that if I decide that I am gay I might be wrong and/or my therapist may steer me in the wrong direction. After all, I think I've fallen in love with men before. 2) I am still covered on my parents' insurance and I don't know what reason I could give them for my interest in therapy 3) I have a lot deep rooted issues and I think I might totally come unglued if I go digging them up.
I've seen a therapist before, but not specifically an LGBT one. But I'll answer your concerns. 1. Any therapist worth the name won't try to steer you anywhere. Their job is to get you to figure out what YOU are feeling. It may be that you ARE gay, or going through a "gay time" of your bisexuality, but I can't imagine a therapist saying "You're gay. Dump the boyfriend and get yourself a woman." 2. Here's your reason - "I'm having a lot of issues in my life lately, and although I've tried working though them myself over the past few years, I've hit a point where I don't believe I can progress without some professional help." 3. It helps to sort of think of your psychological life as a house. It's possible you've been "building" on top of a shaky foundation. But rather than continue building and crossing your fingers, hoping it won't all come tumbling down, it's best to investigate that foundation and shore it up if at all possible. Yes, most of us don't want to go dredging through our psychological basements - that's where all the mold and cockroaches are. But if you can solidify that, you can then continue building with a lot more confidence. Lex
