Hi guys, I need some levelheaded advise. Tough love or encouragement, I need it. So, I am still not putting a label on myself other than to say I'm not straight. I have a fabulous job that I love. But, the people are super conservative and I am already the only female. I don't want to have to wave the rainbow flag as well as the feminist one. So, I don't want to come out at work. Like ever. But, here is the kicker. I'm thinking about trying online dating. And trying to find a woman. I'm terrified to post a profile in case someone from work will see. And I can totally picture some of the guys I work with trolling dating sites to look for cute lesbians to fantasize over (some of them really put the ass in class). Part of me thinks that if I am going to be in this kind of relationship, I need to put my big girl panties on, man the torpedoes, and damn the consequences. But, what if I am wrong and put myself in such a vulnerable position for no reason (besides the moral justice, fighting the good fight, etc). So, I'm looking for a safe way to experiment. But I don't know of any. There aren't any local gay bars, or even meeting areas. And by not local, I mean within one hour's drive. So, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been in this situation and I'd love to hear how others have dealt with it.
Hmmm, I feel ya. I started a new job recently and come to find out the owners are fundamentalist Christians. Like hardcore, looney-bin fundie. And I'm the only female tech where I'm at too. I've had a profile on a dating site for quite a while and so far it hasn't gotten me into any trouble, but then again I probably live in an area that's more urban than it sounds like you are.
I can relate. I am not yet ready to date, but I live in a very conservative area. If I ran into someone I knew while on a date, it could make my life hell. That said, I am going to do it anyway. I can be afraid of what could happen or I can live my life. I know that being an active lesbian means I could be discovered and I have had to decide I can't let the what ifs stop me from being myself.
Tough one. If you were a gay man, I'd say to use some of the apps we can't mention here, since they are almost certain to attract only gay male users. Are there lesbian equivalents? Other option, post just pictures of your lips, your eyes, etc. and no full face pic?
I had a work situation that was in an area that shouldn't be that conservative, but the particular company I worked for was more conservative than was typical for the area ... by a wide margin. In retrospect, I should have left after about 6 months, but I liked the work and the salary. It went downhill, and only because of suspicion, unless they had listening devices at home or a GPS attached to my car for when I went out of town. LOL Your situation may be different. You are smart in that you are trying to protect your paycheck, despite being up front about where you stand. Like the post above, can you post something that sort of alludes to what you look like while not making it possible to identify you?
You certainly can do a "your photo gets mine" sort of deal, but it will cut down on your responses. Or you can simply not have a photo in your profile, and simply contact women you find interesting, adding a "I'll send you a photo if you're interested". Lex
Don't know what I'd do in your position. Other well-known Christians have come out; like Mel White and Ray Boltz. It costs them many supporters and dollars. They seem to think that it was worth it to be authentic. Maybe you could take a community college course under the guise of improving your business skills. You might have opportunities to meet women on campus.
LOL, after getting a text about the DOMA decision this morning I yelled, "Yes!" really loud. I was in a greenhouse being dirty so it was acceptable to do that. The guy working next to me said, "What did you do, win the lottery?". I said that it was something better than that. The Supreme Court just overturned the Defense of Marriage Act. Don't know much about folks ideas around there but it was an agriculture based wheat genetics company. Probably conservative. Oh well... Glad I could watch the comments about DOMA on break. Had a big ol' smile on my face. Somebody came in, and immediately left... I kept watching. BTW, met somebody online and my profile is still up on a few sites. I sometimes wonder if I will run into anybody I see online. Hasn't happened yet!
