I came out as bisexual to my parents. They took it well, all things considered. I've only been out to myself for a few months, which I worried was too late and that i was deluding myself, but then I got over it and accepted my own timeline. Now my mom is skeptical because I'm 24 and I should have known before, right? What do I tell her? I wish I could give her some statistic or something. I told her what I know: that some people come out much later in life (this happened with someone she knows as well) and that I did have inklings that I just repressed.
She will come around. I had to come out three times to my mom. Once in my twenties (then I immediately when back into the closet for many years), again at 49, and then again a few months later. I had to explain to her that I was like one of my cousins who had been married and had kids then came out later in life. She got it. Fear and denial are indeed powerful.
Be honest with her and yourself. For *a lot* of people, the first step of realizing their sexuality is denial, whether it be because of family/religious beliefs, not fitting stereotypes or not seeming "right" at first. It's not easy thing to do to come out, and it sounds as if she doesn't understand this. There are websites, fliers and leaflets that are dedicated towards parents and what they can do to support their children who have come out.
Heck, if you're too old to come out, what am I? An antique? What about those that are even older than me? Seriously, there is no such thing as too late of a time to come out. Like others have said, the first stage in acceptance is denial. Sometimes this is extremely powerful, and lasts a long time, as it has in my case. However, now that the both of us are past that, we can get on with our lives and move on.
RainbowMan, touche!!! You're not an antique; just vintage. :icon_wink Especially when there is some opposite-gender-attraction, or even if there isn't, it's easy to deny one's sexuality to oneself and to others. I'm jealous of those who aren't, who are able to realize their sexuality at a young age, but just because that's not me doesn't mean that my feelings are any less valid.
Tell her it is quite common for people to come out later in life. It usually has something to do with repressed sexuality or not wanting to be gay.
doglover44, i don't know what your story is but I hope time and effort and external support make your denial go away. I still struggle with it sometimes; relying on friends has helped immensely though.
Congrats on coming out, I know it is not an easy thing to do. I came out to my Mom when I was 17/18 and then again at 25; at first, bisexual then gay. I was in denial for many years, and it turned me into an angry/bitter person. But, I knew that coming out would pay off eventually and being on EC has helped me tons, plus with help from my amazing family and friends.
First: Congratulations on coming out! Second: You should say that it's actually pretty common for people to come out later in life. Even after they're married and have kids. Use the example of her friend. Even say that you've seen examples and talked to people in similar situations online.
tell her and be honest about who you are. She will eventually come around, but it does need to take some times for adjustment.
