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Going to create a dating profile. Advice?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by phoenixverde, Jun 26, 2013.

  1. phoenixverde

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    I think I am going to take a plunge and create a dating profile.

    What advice do you wish you had before you created your profile?
     
  2. pinklov3ly

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    I think you should totally go for it! I created a online dating profile a few years ago, but I remained hidden for months. This was before I had fully accepted myself, and I did not want to waste anyone's time. I was not comfortable with who I was at all (it is amazing how much I have grown over the years.) However, I knew that in order to become comfortable, I had to take the plunge as you stated above. I am a bit shy and I also suffer from moderate anxiety, so it was a lot easier to talk to women online.

    And so far, I've had a ton of success. I've met three different women since joining and things were great. However, I am extremely picky because I have kids, so I've dated, but nothing serious. I actually met a girl who also had kids and we clicked instantly.

    The "About Me" section always seems to be a hit or miss for me, so I think honesty is best. I think some relationships are more successful when you find someone you can relate to and who understands your situation. For me, I actually prefer women with kids.

    I haven't signed onto my profile for a while because I am not really looking for anyone right now. After my failed relationship with the last girl I dated, I kind of decided to take a break. Enough of my rambling; I think you should take a chance, you never know who may catch your eye.
     
    #2 pinklov3ly, Jun 26, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2013
  3. CodePink

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    What website have you found to be successful?
     
  4. Night Rain

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    I don't think we can talk about those websites here, so take it to the private messages when you have become a full member.

    Generally speaking, the paid sites are usually better.
     
  5. Zoe

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    Hello Phoenix-

    My (short) experience on a dating website has also been good. I came out about a month ago, but since then I haven't struggled at all with who I am and have been excited just to explore this side of myself.

    So I went on a dating site, really just out of pure curiosity. I really was just messing around, but one thing quickly led to another, and in just a couple of days, I had a date for the following weekend.

    She and I have since gone out a few times, and it's been going well. Don't know where it's going, but I don't have a need to know. I enjoy her company, she enjoys mine, and she's introducing me to the city's LGBT community. And...I had my first kiss! Very exciting.

    All of this is to say go for it. As with any dating site, you do have to be careful to make sure you're playing it safe and with a real person, but taking easy precautions will take care of that.

    As for your question, as I read through others' profiles before creating my own, it seemed to me that the women were far more honest than I'm used to seeing on dating websites for heterosexuals. It may have been my imagination, but I got the feeling that a lot of the women were thinking, "OK, we're all women here, so I'm going to drop the act and be honest." And that's what I did.

    Of course, you want to highlight your positive personality traits--but also mention the sorts of things you enjoy to do: go to movies, go hiking, whatever. I know that really helped me when it came to seeing who I might be compatible with.

    And make your writing sound like you--let your personality come through. I wrote mine like I was writing to a friend, and that helped.

    All of this is just from my experience. I don't think my profile is the best out there or anything--it's just what I tried to do when I wrote mine. Take any advice you can use and throw the rest out.

    Good luck--

    Zoe
     
  6. Robert

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    Make sure to remember that your profile is there to set you apart from other people and is there to show off your personality. So, keep away from basic boring answers that basically everyone else has written.
     
  7. derrik

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    I see different sites directed to specific objectives. For instance, there are gay sites notorious for quick hookups. With this in mind - your profile needs to be consistent with similar people on the site. I find it amusing when i visit a hook up site and see a man with a profile inconsistent with most others - It kinda makes me suspect his veracity
     
  8. SaleGayGuy

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    Hello Phoenixverde

    I watched a documentary on UK TV last week discussing dating sites. One thing that stuck in my mind was that people who used “You” and “We” rather than “I this”, “I that”, etc. in their profiles were more successful. So if I paraphrase my recollection correctly, instead of saying “I like art gallery’s” you could say “We could spend an afternoon looking round an art gallery”. I think it sort of engages the reader and verbally draws people together rather than just being a specification of you, so whilst it conveys the fact that you like art it also implies doing something together with the reader.

    From a guy perspective I have also found a difference between sites that cater for “Mr Right” to “Mr Right Now!!!”. I don’t know if the same is true for sites aimed at the ladies but it should be obvious if that is the case.

    I hope that helps

    SaleGayGuy
     
  9. phoenixverde

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    Wow. Thank you to everyone for all the advice. I will probably create my profile today or tomorrow. I really appreciate the help.
     
  10. PeteNJ

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    Change it up frequently. Like every other week at least. People who view one version of your profile may not be interested, but your other version will catch their attention. Same with photos. Change your main profile pic from time to time.

    Good luck, have fun, be safe!
     
  11. phoenixverde

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    Question for yall...

    Do you do a Skype chat or facetime before you go on the date? Is that rude to ask?