Just need to vent: I ran into two former co-workers last weekend who are engaged. It was great to catch up, but at one point the guy was making ridiculously intense eye contact with me. I felt like he was obviously flirting with me with his fiancé sitting right next to me. I just made sure to make limited eye contact with him and focused most of my eye contact on her. In my head I was thinking to myself, "How in the world is she not noticing this? Or does she notice it and ignore it? Maybe I am just imagining things?" He always said he wasn't gay/bi when I worked with him, and I know better than to assume anything just because he is a bit on the feminine side. He said he's straight so I assume he is until proven otherwise. I really think he had no idea he was giving me what I consider to be a "come hither" look. That doesn't make it any less frustrating though. Especially since I did have a bit of a crush on him while I worked with him. :bang::bang::bang: I really have no illusions that we would have ever gotten together/would get together, but it does remind me of what I don't have yet. Again, just wanted to vent. Thanks...
I recently had a married guy flirt with me several times, and get so excited every time were were together. It was obvious that he likes me more than just a little. And sad because it will go no where. I might tell him to fuck off if he does it again. I like him and I like it, but it is not a two-way street really is it.
This is funny to me, because I am guilty of this behavior myself, but I have never ever talked about it until now. I am married, and at some point I decided that it was okay to flirt with guys that I am into and sense might be gay--even if they are married--in much the same way you describe above. I tend to operate under an opposite assumption than the one you stated above: for guys I get "a feeling" for, I assume they are gay until proven straight. I use "intense eye contact" in some cases to test the other guy out to see if there is a chance he might be gay. Other methods are somewhat more subtle, e.g., a lot of smiling and laughing at things the guy says; at work, walking by his offices on purpose so he will see me and strike up a conversation; stuff like that. Mostly though, I try to get them talking; I ask them lots of questions to make them feel like I am easy to talk to so they will let down their guard. Sometimes, I am hardly even listening to what they are really saying; rather, I am secretly admiring them and listening to just enough content to come up with the next question and keep the conversation going. Does this sound totally pathetic, or what? I often wonder if these guys are noticing what I am doing, if my behavior is obvious. Of course, I secretly want them to get the message, to like it (it is interesting for me to hear that you do like it, Jeff), to develop a crush on me, and, most importantly, to seek ME out. There are few things more exciting than when one of these guys I am crushing on reciprocates the attention, even a little bit. I am always waiting for some sign, ANYTHING, to give me hope that the guy might actually feel the same spark I am feeling for him. I know how absurd it sounds. Why the hell did I get married if I am so into other people like I am describing? Why do I feel like it is okay to act like this as a married man? These are questions I have been asking myself constantly lately. It is especially interesting for me to hear that both you, SimpleMan, and Jeff are frustrated and/or annoyed when you are on the receiving end of this kind of flirtation. I wonder how many guys I have totally freaked out and/or alienated with my behavior. I think I am pretty good at manipulating them so they don't know what is hitting them, but maybe I am not as good at it as I think.
Hello, You think it is fun to toy with people's emotions? You are proud of your ability to manipulate others? You find it interesting people don't like this behaviour? I personally would not tinker with others in this fashion. Is it flirtation or abuse, if the only goal is to engage emotional interest and then move on using others in this fashion for self validation... it isn't!t flirtation.
