Why am I making this post at 3:40 in the morning when I have to wake up tomorrow morning and the incident I am going to talk about was 2 weeks ago? Well, I just answered someone's support question and referenced my own experience and realized I never made one of these posts, but hey, it's not too late. Friday night. My brother (who has known for a year or so) is in from college. My family came to see the improv show I coordinated/was in. It went really well. Everything was feeling good. Family dinner. Afterwards, my dad and brother take my grandfather home. When they get home, my dad starts washing the dishes. I go upstairs to talk to my brother. I tell him I'm going to come out to my parents. "What right now? Shouldn't you let them know gently?" "What? How am I supposed to do that?" He told me to wait a week, that he was coming back next weekend, but if I really was set on doing it...go ahead. I went downstairs. Cleared the table a little more. Did some nervous walking back and forth from room to room. It was after 11. My mom was kind of asleep on the couch, my dad still washing dishes. I wait until he's pretty much done. "Dad, can I talk to you and mom in the family room?" I have my dad take a seat (my mom, laying on the couch, sits up), and then I pull up a chair across from them. "What is it? What's going on?" That was probably my mom that said that... "Just spit it out. Whatever it is, you can tell us." That was probably my dad. Eventually, after some stuttering and nervous hand wrangling I get around to saying, "I'm not attracted to...women. Like I never have been. When puberty hit me, I realized I was attracted to guys." I think one of the first things my parents said was "We accept you for who you are." And they made it clear that nothing had changed. (And nothing has...everything is exactly the same as it was before I told them. Everything.) There was maybe a question or two. "Are you sure?" I don't remember exactly. "I thought it might be that," said my mom. "I was just thinking. Why hasn't Noah dated anyone yet? He's attractive, the girls like him. Huh." Thanks mom. "But you know, you might turn out to be bisexual. You know that happens sometimes." Of course Mom. It could happen. Don't count on it. Have you told anybody? I answered them. My brother knows. A bunch of my friends. "Well we won't tell anyone unless you want us too." Then my dad told me that he was the person one of his best friends in high school came out to. It sounded like he didn't accept his friend right away, like he had a tough time with it then. But now, it was good. I explained that this was important in my college choice and was the reason I wanted to go up north. They reminded me that finances could make that impossible. "I know. I know. But I can still try." I was very happy. I didn't even have to give them the "Straight Guide to GLBT Americans" that I printed out. I still have it. I don't know what to do with it. I went up to my room and probably came on EC or something. My dad knocked on my door later and just double checked to make sure I was okay. He said, "We love you and accept you." And that was that. About a week later, my mom says, "Your dad thinks you should look at UVA, it's a good school you know." "UVA, mom? University of Virginia? Don't want to go there." "Why not?" "Mom! I don't want to go anywhere in Georgia, Florida, Virginia, Alabama, Mississipi, Louisiana, Kentucky, etc!" At the very least, they won't suggest any army colleges any more.... But seriously, it went very well. I did have doubts that they would be so accepting right away, and I was, well, I guess just worrying a little much. Now I'm trying to figure out do I tell them I want to come out to everyone or do I just do it and tell them I did it? I don't know exactly what to do from here. But I'll try not to lie anymore...
congrats great you have parents who are so accepting and suppotive now you can live freely.... just be delicate when you bring your first bf home lol
Noah, im SO glad your parents took it well (*hug*) cause believe me, it could have gone worse...heh...yea...Im sure it helps that your dad had a gay friend before. I find in general people have more trouble telling there father than mother. But yea, thats great that everything went so well! I would have just hated it if you came out and had a not-so-good experience with your parents like me, cause i know how much it can hurt seeing your parents clear disgust at you Im sure telling everyone else will be a piece of cake now
Congratulations Noah! Your parents sound wonderful! I would still give them the straight guide to glbt Americans. That is a great little pamphlet! It has many ways that they can give you support. Also tell them about PFLAG.
i am glad that everything went well for you and what ever life throws at you i think you will be great. keep your head up and walk proud
I'm happy for you, its encouraging to here about parents taking things so well, I still need to work out how I'm going to tell mine.
Noah, how wonderful to have such supportive parents! As far as telling others, it doesn't sound to me like they would have any issues, so I'd say go ahead and tell other people if you want, and if it makes you feel better to tell your parents you're going to do that first, then go for it, but from everything you've said, doesn't sound like it's necessary. I think your call on UVA is a good one; while it's a great school, at least last I checked, it wasn't the most gay friendly one out there I have been told that Athens is a lot more liberal and supportive, if you end up in-state... but these days, short of going to Jerry Falwell's Liberty U, you'll probably find a surprising level of acceptance almost anywhere you go. Please keep us updated
Congratulations! They took it very well indeed! I wouldn't worry overmuch about telling them beforehand when and why you want to come out to other people, though. Unless it's other close family, perhaps.
Good point. And there's always Bob Jones University, that fine institution where interracial dating is not permitted, and homosexuals are not permitted on campus, even to visit.
kudos! how cool is it that they were so accepting of it right away? but yea, were alot better up here in the north. its easier for u to be out up here.
GO TO UVA YOU DICK....i mean...i...the city is very gay friendly. we ahve like 6 gay clbs within walking distance of the school campus i swear. but congrats on your parents being so cool. and plus...uva is like...i hop skip and a jump from me....no really...i could walk there if it wont so hot